Goodbye blogger, wordpress here I come !!

Folks, Given the hype around wordpress these days,  I decided to give it a shot. I must admit that I wasn't too keen at first for I'm very emotional about my blog.  But when I saw wordpress, I wasn't dissapointed !!
So I've moved my blog to wordpress at reshmasmusings.wordpress.com.

Hoping I enjoy blogging at wordpress as much as I did here.

Moms for a better world..

This post is being written for #MomsforaBetterWorld Project for women's web

What is the one lesson I would like to teach my child?  I think it would be treating women equally.  No matter if you're a boy or girl you need to learn to treat women equally and to not accept second grade treatment.
More often than not women are objectified,  sidelined and treated like a doormat be it at the workplace, on the streets or even in their own homes. Your boss may give preferential treatment to  a male colleague or your brother at home may have special privileges. When both you and your husband get back home after a tiring day at work, you will be expected to help with chores while your husband rests. Your counterparts in villages and even in cities for that matter, are not allowed access to even basic facilities let alone a decent education just because they belong to the fairer sex.  In every walk of life you will come across people who will try to pull you down because you are a woman.  My lesson to you my dear daughter would be not to take it lying down. Don't accept it as your fate. Don't make it a way of life. Don't consider yourself weak just because you belong to the fairer sex and don't let those who think you are weak bog you down. You have equal rights much as anybody else and if someone is depriving you of them, don't be afraid to put up a fight. 

Just as you'd like to be treated equally, don't forget to give the same treatment to your children.  Don't discriminate between  your kids on the basis of their gender.

If I had a son, my lesson to him would be the same. Treat all women equally. Not only your mother, sister or ones in your near family and friend circle but also the girls on the street, the elderly maid, the vegetable vendors,  the sales girl in the store, your colleagues at the workplace. They are already struggling,  fighting daily with the inequalities of society and are tired of always ending up second place. Of always having to put up a fight to attain what they are entitled to. So have some consideration and don't deprive them of what is rightfully theirs.
Sad it is but true that our society is biased towards men . If my children learn to refuse to be part of this favoritism, I'll be proud of having done my bit to make the world a better place. 

Blind faith

Few days back, I visited Lord Shani temple at Shani shingnapur. Shani shingnapur is a small village close to Nashik which has a huge temple of Lord Shani. Thousands of devotees flock to this temple in good faith and offer their prayers.
After parking our car we alighted and  were guided to a puja shop courtesy of a 'kind soul' who helped all tourists. I don't think it was a coincidence that the shopkeeper there turned out to be this kind soul's confidante. But that's not the point here. 

Just to follow the customs of the place, we bought a Puja thali worth Rs 150/-.  How the shopkeeper tried to exhort money from us is another story and I'll leave it for some other day. Suffice it to say that I was totally disturbed by the commercialisation in a place which people revere as an abode of God; these people were openly duping innocent tourists by toying with their sentiments and inciting fear of God. 

When we entered the temple, the first thing that struck me was that most people (including us)didn't really know what to do. So just like the others, we first laid down the coconut at the entrance. Next we poured oil in the designated area which is then pumped via an elaborate mechanism on the idol of the deity thus ensuring a continuous flow of oil. I cannot even imagine how many litres of edible oil is wasted due to this practice.
Finally we offered the "prasad" packet (containing flattened rice and sweet til gul) at the feet of the deity just like others.  After a while a huge pile of these "prasad" packets were accumulated at the feet of the deity. To my utmost horror, the security guard just swept all these away and trashed them!!!
My first thought was , Was this man insane to do something so preposterous? But then I realised that he must be just following instructions from authorities but just imagine the audacity of issuing such instructions.
In India, lakhs of people go hungry, have no food to eat and these people have the nerve to just trash food that could have been fed to many hungry mouths.
I instantly realised the folly of what I was doing and was totally ashamed of myself for indulging in such blind faith.The authorities were not the only ones to blame , people like me were equally part of the crime. Instead of wasting Rs 150/- on the puja thali,  had I offered the same to a poor hungry soul wouldn't my money have been put to better use? Most certainly !!
I have now resolved that never again will I waste money/food items in the name of God. I am not an atheist and neither am I against God. But my personal belief is that such unwarranted external exhibition of piousness is uncalled for.And this blind devotion has reaffirmed my beliefs. God doesn't need our flowers, oil, coconut or our money for that matter. Just joining hands and offering a sincere prayer is enough.

If only.....

If only we had the courage to confront our fears. If only we stopped fearing the consequences of our actions. If only we were able to silence our doubts. If only.....

A lot of "If onlys" but no answers. Yes its true.Many times we give in to our fears. We give our problems a lot of weigtage and consider them to be of a much bigger magnitude than they really are. Our fear of  facing the repercussions of our actions keeps us from confronting our problems for too long and eventually they appear impossible to handle.

Be it a job related decision like job change, taking up/leaving a job, moving houses/relocation or a decision related to the child like school change/diet change,   we fear change.We do not want to move out from our comfort zone. We are afraid of shadows. Our inhibitions lead us to put up with sufferings which we could put an end to if only we had the courage to tackle them. How else can you explain the fact that sometimes people suffering from chronic illnesses choose to endear excruciating pain rather than face treatment/ surgery just out of fear? 

I've had my own apprehensions which caused me a lot of sleepless nights. Fears about exams/studies,  about career, about cooking, and many more. But most of the times I have  been surprised by how easy it was when I tackled my most dreaded fears.

Now that I am a mother, most of my fears revolve around decisions related to my daughter. For instance my daughter had a thumb sucking habit. I was afraid to try something drastic that would make her give it up as I was worried about how she would react. I was afraid of dealing with the aftereffects of making her give up thumb sucking, namely the tantrums, screaming, spending sleepless nights.  I had really given up and thought it was impossible to get her to give it up. But when she finally gave it up , I was surprised at how easy it was.  Just the fear of the repercussions was keeping me from trying.

I guess the really difficult part is making up our mind, of resolving within ourselves to take charge and change the situation. If we are able to do this, half the battle is won. But most of the times, we do not have the courage to take this small step. Our fears pull us back. 

If only we had the courage to confront our fears. If only we stopped fearing the consequences of our actions. If only we were able to silence our doubts. If only.....

Voice of a smart phone

Let me tell you a story,
The story of my life,
How I evolved from an electronic gadget,
To an integral part of your life.

I made a very humble start,
For calling and texting I was devised,
There was no chatting or emailing ,
Very basic needs I sufficed.

And then my future generations evolved,
More trendy, sophisticated and stylish,
With loads and loads of features,
We gave you pure bliss.

Thus slowly and stealthily,
Into your life I crept,
So much so that life without me,
You now find hard to adapt.

I've got you totally hooked,
You cannot stay away from me,
And even a few seconds,
Feel like an eternity.

You use me for your every need,
Be it online gaming or shopping,
Connecting with the world or internet search,
Chatting with friends or social networking.

Whenever you  have a few minutes,
To me you sneak,
Be it checking emails or whats-app,
You just can't resist a peek.

Just as you need air to breathe,
And food and water to thrive,
I've become a necessity
That you need in order to survive.

If I'm plugged in for charging,
You feel lost and lonesome
If by mistake you leave me home,
It's like you've left back a vital body organ.

No need to chat with strangers,
In order to kill time in a bus or train,
Who needs friends or relatives,
When I'm around to entertain.

No need to waste time
During commercial breaks on TV,
Even while playing with your kid,
You can simultaneously toy with me.

Boredom and loneliness are at bay,
When I'm by your side,
Who needs nosy neighbors,
When I'm around as your companion and guide.

I've connected you with friends from far
And made distances, time zones disappear
So what if I've made you insensitive
To the needs of ones who are near.

When hubby is discussing a work issue,
Or mum is sharing a recipe,
Or kid is animatedly describing school fun,
You are too engrossed with me.

You put me before everyone else,
I feel like I've achieved a great feat,
For in order to seek your attention,
Your dear ones must with me compete.

Childhood days...

Poem reliving memories of my childhood days.........

Wonderful were those days
when we were young
Without a care about the world
Life could never go wrong.

Living in our childhood home,
Feeling safe and protected
Ignorant about life's harsh realities,
A happy and carefree life we led.

Dad shielded us from the big bad world,
Mum wiped away our tears
In our parents caring arms
We lived without any fears.

Caught up with studies in school
Called teachers names,
Played with friends in the evenings, 

badminton and other games.

We loved ice creams and cakes
Pastries, chocolates and lollipop
Playing in parks filled us with glee
We looked forward to visiting toy shops.

Woke up late on Sunday mornings
Spent endless time in front of the TV
Played video games and watched cartoons
Mickey mouse and Tom and Jerry.

Did homework, praticed craft
Read books and stories untold
Rode bicycles, Played with dolls, 
We lived in our own make believe world.

Get together with cousins during summer vacations,
Laughter and good times galore
Playing card games, eating pani puri
Enjoyment to the core.

Laughed for the silliest reasons
And sometimes shed tears
Did whatever we wanted and wore what we liked
Spoke our mind without any fears.

No worries about housework, 

No insecurities about career
No tensions about kids or
What to cook for dinner.

No egos to hone
No pretenses about life,
No appearances to keep up
No pride to cause strife.

No regrets about the past
No dissent about today
No fretting about the future,
Come what may.

No fear of criticism or misunderstandings,
No tensions about facing humiliation
Anger, hurt, resentment, mistrust or hatred
Such emotions were alien.

Such was the beauty of childhood,
The realities of life were unknown
Sometimes I wish I was still a child,
Sometimes I wish I'd never grown.

For somewhere along the journey
From little kids to grown ups,
We payed a huge price
The innocence of childhood was lost.

The challenges of being a stay-at-home mum

Has anyone ever thought about the challenges of being a stay at home mum? Just like a working woman has to put up with targets, pressures and deadlines, so does a stay at home mum. Why ? Well simply because she is 'at home'
For instance her home is expected to be spick and span all the time. So what is the kid is throwing toys around the house at all times and the husband is too lazy to put his stuff in place? She is expected to clean after them.
And her kids are supposed to be well-behaved at all times. In the case of a working mom it is alright if the kids are not on their best behavior or don't do that well in studies. After all their mother is working so they get that extra leeway. But a a stay-at-home mum is not given such allowance. One instance of bad behavior by the kid or one academic failure and she is instantly crucified for negligence. Does anyone realize what tremendous pressure this is?
She is not expected to require any domestic help. After all she has the entire day to do the household chores. But a poor working woman already has too much to do at her workplace,  so she cannot be burdened further with mundane tasks so in her case hiring domestic help is perfectly justified. 
If a stay-at-home mum is seen laughing and gossiping with her girl gang she is immediately criticized. Oh these housewives have nothing else to do the whole day than gossip about clothes and jewelry is what we hear. However it is perfectly okay for working women to have long coffee sessions with her friends in office. After all she needs a break from her stressful work.  Come on people, give the poor woman a break, a stay-at-home mum is entitled to a change from routine work as much as a working mum.
A stay-at-home mum is expected to be an excellent cook. If a working mom messes up a meal well so what? She probably has other important stuff to do than practice cooking.  But a stay-at-home mum has all day to hone her cooking skills. So there is no excuse or scope for error. One badly cooked meal and people are ready to pounce on her and tear her self confidence to pieces.
Isn't it an unfair expectation from any person not just a stay-at-home mum to never err?
I am ashamed to say that when I was working full-time, I felt the same way. However being a stay-at-home mum for the past 2 years has given me a whole new perspective and I realize how wrong I was.  Being a stay-at-home mum is a most challenging and underrated job. I'm not saying life is a bed of roses for a working mom but to be biased and judge someone simply on the basis of whether they are working or not is grossly unfair. It just results in undue pressure. 
So next time you think it is all play and no work for a stay-at-home mum, just remember that she has her own challenges which as as stressful as those of a working mom if not more. She is extremely fatigued of people peeking into her life and being critical of every aspect of it. So just respect her decision of being a stay-at-home mum and let her be.