Childhood days...

Poem reliving memories of my childhood days.........

Wonderful were those days
when we were young
Without a care about the world
Life could never go wrong.

Living in our childhood home,
Feeling safe and protected
Ignorant about life's harsh realities,
A happy and carefree life we led.

Dad shielded us from the big bad world,
Mum wiped away our tears
In our parents caring arms
We lived without any fears.

Caught up with studies in school
Called teachers names,
Played with friends in the evenings, 

badminton and other games.

We loved ice creams and cakes
Pastries, chocolates and lollipop
Playing in parks filled us with glee
We looked forward to visiting toy shops.

Woke up late on Sunday mornings
Spent endless time in front of the TV
Played video games and watched cartoons
Mickey mouse and Tom and Jerry.

Did homework, praticed craft
Read books and stories untold
Rode bicycles, Played with dolls, 
We lived in our own make believe world.

Get together with cousins during summer vacations,
Laughter and good times galore
Playing card games, eating pani puri
Enjoyment to the core.

Laughed for the silliest reasons
And sometimes shed tears
Did whatever we wanted and wore what we liked
Spoke our mind without any fears.

No worries about housework, 

No insecurities about career
No tensions about kids or
What to cook for dinner.

No egos to hone
No pretenses about life,
No appearances to keep up
No pride to cause strife.

No regrets about the past
No dissent about today
No fretting about the future,
Come what may.

No fear of criticism or misunderstandings,
No tensions about facing humiliation
Anger, hurt, resentment, mistrust or hatred
Such emotions were alien.

Such was the beauty of childhood,
The realities of life were unknown
Sometimes I wish I was still a child,
Sometimes I wish I'd never grown.

For somewhere along the journey
From little kids to grown ups,
We payed a huge price
The innocence of childhood was lost.

New year, new beginnings....

I don't know about others but every new year fills me with new hope. Its like a new start to life, to make up for all the things I missed doing in the past year.

Resolutions for this year- Well exercise and stay fit, eat healthy,  make my daughter more independent,  drive a vehicle, be a bit more relaxed .....

Not sure how many of the above I will be able to achieve. .but I'm feeling positive!!!

What a coincidence that this is also my 50th post in this blog. When I started this blog in 2012, I never imagined that I would reach this mark. I thought this blog was just a passing hobby that would be forgotten over time. But it turned out to be just the opposite. Each post makes me want to write more. This blog has given me a new avenue to vent my feelings, to say what I want to say, to express my views without fear.

So here's hoping I reach the 100 posts mark by the end of this year !!

Happy New Year!!!

Then and now. .....

A poem which highlights  the difference  in childhood days then and now.....

When I look at the world  around me, I must confide
So much has changed as compared to the nineties, when I was a child

To watch chitrahar and sunday movie on doordarshan we would be keen
Now such a variety of channels, daily soaps, movies and reality shows can be seen

There was no email we would write letters on paper 
Now communication happens via Facebook, Whatsapp  and Twitter

We watched cartoons like Mickey mouse and tom and jerry
Nowadays TV channels show pokemon, doreamon and oggy

Rasna was our favourite  drink,
Coke and pepsi were distant things

Our favourite actors were sharukh, kajol and Aamir
Nowadays kids are crazy about Varun Dhavan, Alia and Ranbir

We loved pani puri and other chaat
There was no Mc donalds, kfc or pizza hut

DDLJ and HAHK were our favourite movies
Kids nowadays disregard them as cheesy love stories

Our cricketing heros were Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid and Ganguly
Nowadays we hear the names Rohit Sharma, Suresh Raina and Virat Kohli 

To play games like hopscotch and hide and seek we would rush
Nowadays kids only care about angry Birds and Candy Crush

We would scour 'Tell me why' books for our research 
Today's  kids prefer using internet and google search

Baggy pants and A line dresses were in fashion
Unlike leggings and jeggings in comparison 

Life back then was not so competitive
And exams and other tensions were few 

All this and numerous other things make me feel so old
So much has changed  and I have so many memories to hold

No generation is good or bad, they have their ups and downs
We can't smile upon one and upon the other frown

Time and tide wait for no man as they say
And we must embrace new stuff as it comes our way

Generations may change and trends are never the same
But across changing times, our values we must retain

Movies from 'my' time.....

With so many new movies coming out I nowadays find very few movies that I can relate to. When I was younger, my parents would often ridicule the movies we watched stating that the movies 'nowadays' are no match for the movies during 'their' times while I silently wondered how those slow paced movies with bulky actors could possibly be better. 15 years on, I understand what they mean and I feel the same way. So while the next generation may mock me for my choice of movies, I would still like to list down my favorite movies from my generation :)

1. Pyar toh hona hi tha
This is my all time favorite movie. I have fond memories of watching this movie nearly 15 years ago with my best friends. I still remember the dialog "aisa hi hoon main" which made us all fall in  love with Ajay Devgan  :) I think this was the starting point of Ajay Devgan's career shift  from being an action hero  to romantic/comedy movies and he pulled it off well. The Ajay Devgan-Kajol  on screen chemistry coupled with a few comic scenes makes this a most entertaining film.   
2. Dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge
Another hit movie of my generation . I'm  sure every girl from my generation  will have this movie  in their top 5 list. The Raj-Simran pair played by Shahrukh-Kajol romance on screen really makes one want to  fall in  love.The scenic European outdoors add the cherry on top of the cake and make this movie a visual delight.
3. Rang de basanti
The story of 5 youngsters who get inspired by India's freedom  struggle and rebel against present day corruption. Each of the 5 characters play their parts to perfection.  I liked this movie, because it was different, it was a welcome change from the mediocre films coming out in those days. This film made the audience sit up and take notice.  All in all a wonderful movie, makes the hair on your hand stand up.
4.  Dil toh paagal hai 

Another of my favorite love stories.  Madhuri plays the role of a girl living in her own dreams and Shahrukh of a person who doesn't believe in love. How they gradually realise that they are destined for each other formulates the rest of the story. Madhuri's dance performances leave the audience spellbound and the soft romantic music makes you want to listen to it over and over again. 

5. Dil chata hai

This movie has a certain charm about it which makes it very likable.  This is the story of three friends and their journey from carefree college guys to mature adults. I bet each of us has this phase in life when we are young and without a care about the world. The three lead actors fit into their character's skins very well, be it Akshaye Khanna  as the serious brooding guy in the group or Saif as the confused womaniser or Aamir Khan as the joker of the group. That combined with Aamir khan's comic sense of timing and Preity Zinta's perky self makes this a movie a must watch.

Am I a bad mother?

Inspired by my childhood poems, decided to write one...

Am I a bad mother  if 

Sometimes I feel like completing a meal in one go?

Or feel like watching an undisturbed round of my  favorite TV show?

Sometimes I feel like spending exclusive time with hubby

Maybe a candle light dinner or simply watching a movie ?  

If  sometimes I miss the highs of my full time job?
And giving  it all up for my kid sometimes makes me quietly sob?

If sometimes an uninterrupted cup of tea I would like to enjoy?

Or sometimes I just don't feel like playing with jigsaw puzzles and other toys  ?

Sometimes I feel like spending time with friends,
And going for shopping and dining trips immense?

If sometimes I  feel bored of the cajoling and coaxing

And ensuring my child finishes her meal sometimes I find taxing?

If sometimes with the tantrums I am unable to put up with

And I feel  bored of narrating stories, singing lullabies and brushing teeth?

If sometimes spending some 'me' time is all I wish?

Maybe reading my favorite book or just lying around as much as I please?

I love my daughter so much, she's the best gift I could receive

But just sometimes if I miss the above, dear God will you forgive?

Holding my child in my arms, being able to touch and caress

Are out of the world feelings that I would never trade for anything else. 

But just sometimes I miss  life's little pleasures

And being able to enjoy them is all the heart desires

No I don't think I am a bad mother

I am but a human being just  like  any other

My Top 5 books..

As a follow up to my previous post, I am listing my top 5 books:

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

This is my all time favorite, I must have read it at least a 50 times but still fall in love with the characters every time I read it. The entire plot revolves around the main protagonist Elizabeth Bennett and a wealthy but proud man, Mr Darcy. Mr Darcy whose pride pushes him to prevent his close friend from marrying Elizabeth's sister because of her poor connections and ill mannered family is willing to forsake the same pride for his own love interest. On Elizabeth's part, the blind prejudice which she has for Mr Darcy keeps the readers enthralled. Other than that, the author paints a most authentic picture of 17th century England and one can almost visualise the life of the English people during those times, the class distinction in the English aristocracy, the dainty houses and the picturesque countryside. All in all a wonderfully told tale.

Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less - Jeffery Archer

Four men get cheated by one person. Realising that there is no legal recourse they decide to steal their money back. How each one of them comes up with a brilliant plan to outsmart the fraudster who conned them constitutes the rest of the story and an unexpected climax makes this a most fascinating read.

The Partner - John Grisham
Story of how a brilliant lawyer plans to steal money and defeats all odds of getting caught but in the end himself is betrayed by the one person he trusted. Again a most unexpected ending, wonderfully told tale like all John Grisham novels.

If Tomorrow Comes - Sidney Sheldon

Story of a gullible young woman who while seeking revenge for her mother’s death is caught in a net laid by her mother's perpetrators. Abandoned by her fiance and with no one to turn to, the rest of the plot elaborates how she survives against all odds and  seeks retribution and  her transition from a naive young woman to a seasoned thief makes a very interesting read.

The Bourne Identity - Robert Ludlum

In the first of the Jason Bourne series, a man wakes up with no memory of who he is or where he comes from. How he tries to discover his identity using just some vague recollections from the past to guide him amidst deadly attacks by unknown parties makes this a most action packed novel and you just cannot put it down till you reach the end.

A Gift of a Lifetime...

Today I read an Archie comic book after ages which made me reminisce my childhood days. I started reading at a very young age thanks to my dad who being an avid reader himself encouraged me and my younger sister to read very early on. The first book I ever read was a 'Tinkle' comic probably when I was 6 or 7 year old. What started as a casual pass time to put off temporary boredom turned out to be a lifetime obsession. From comics like Tinkle, Amar Chitra Katha,  Walt Disney, Phantom and Mandrake to Enid Blyton books like simple bedtime stories, school stories about Mallory Towers and St Clare's to detective mysteries like famous five and secret seven I was totally hooked. I remember curling up in some corner of the house with a book in hand and my favourite snack.  During summer vacation I would read endlessly from morning to night.  

During my teens, it was Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys and Agatha Christie who caught my attention. Hercule Poirot is my favourite character.
And then I discovered english fiction again thanks to my dad who has a huge collection of books. Ken Follett, Jeffery Archer, Sidney Sheldon became some of my favourite authors. Be it a murder investigation by Sidney Sheldon or a law trial by John Grisham or a war story by Jeffrey Archer or an epic by Ken Follett, I love them all. Other than English fiction I also love reading English classics and Jane Austen is one of my favourite authors. Nothing beats the thrill of starting a book and putting it down only after reading the last page. Even as I write this I am thinking of writing a follow up post about my favourite books :)

Reading not only improved my vocabulary but also gave me a wide exposure to the world. Plus it helps me relax and unwind and is a welcome change from the daily routine. 

Though I still love reading, I don't find that much time thanks to a 4 year old who keeps me on my toes all day long and of course my smartphone to which I'm glued whenever I can sneak in a few moments. Even then I still try to catch up with some reading whenever I lay my hands on a good novel.

And then a sudden realisation hit me.  Had it not been for my dad I would never have discovered the joy of books, so is it not my duty to give this wonderful gift to my daughter ? It most certainly is and by imbibing a reading hobby in my child I hope to give her a gift of a lifetime. 

 

Time to show off :)

Two of my blog posts published in women's web online magazine :)

1) Six things I have learnt from my child

2) Blessed with a girl

Healthy choices !!!

All of a sudden I have become health conscious.  Perhaps the triggering point was during my trip to Goa when one well meaning neighbour asked me how many months pregnant I was that made me resolve that I had to get rid of that tummy I had. Soon I found myself scouring the internet for information related to health/dieting/exercising firmly deciding that health should be the focus this year.  To my utter surprise, I found that there are many facts related to health and nutrition, the food that we eat that I was not aware of.  I was leading a totally ignorant life as far as food/nutrition is concerned. So here I am listing down few of the interesting points I found in the hope that it will be useful to others.

Disclaimer: This is just information I have found on the internet and therefore you are advised to verify authenticity yourself J

1. The key to weight loss is not eating less, but burning the excess calories consumed.
2. Fibre rich food is the key to a healthy life. Fibre slows down digestion and keeps you full for long.  Fibre is present in foods like apples, pears, carrots, oats.  
3. Starchy food like white rice, potatoes etc is believed to cause belly fat and therefore should be cut down.

Following are the lifestyle changes I have made based on the information I have found:

1. I start my day with a 15 minute tummy tucking exercise followed by 15 minutes brisk walking.  I am planning to gradually increase the time period. Refer this link for exercises. http://www.stylecraze.com/articles/5-exercises-and-5-foods-to-reduce-belly-fat/
2. I drink lots of water
3. I take stairs instead of the lift
4. I avoid that last extra portion in my meal and control the urge to eat just one more chocolate.

It’s too early to say if any of this has made any difference to my tummy or not, but I am definitely feeling good about it. Just hope it works some magic.  Keeping my fingers crossed J

The year that was 2013

End of another year. Its that time of the year when one gets philosophical and starts reflecting on the year that has been. Overall this has been a good year.
This year brought about great change in my personal life that being the transition from being a software professional to a full time stay at home mum. Looking back i think it was a good decision. 
My mum celebrated her 60th birthday in march this year.. a milestone achieved.  Here's hoping she celebrates many more such milestones.
June saw my daughter start her schooling. As she stood in front of me wearing school uniform for the first time I couldn't help but wonder when my baby grew so big.  And I felt so proud.  Here's wishing my baby good luck for a wonderful academic life ahead.
In September  my daughter experienced Ganesh chaturti celebration in my native village in Goa for the first time in her life and thoroughly enjoyed it.  September also saw my daughter turn 3. Yet another milestone. November brought about the festival of lights diwali. Again something Anagha thoroughly enjoyed.  Though these festivals happen every year, this year they were special due to Anagha's participation and hence deserve a mention in the year's summary.
November saw a trip to kerala. Though it was partly spoilt by the strike situation due to which we missed out on much of  the site seeing Anagha totally enjoyed the elephant ride and houseboat stay which made the trip memorable.
December saw my cousin Sharvari's wedding in Mumbai as an occasion to meet and catch up with cousins after years followed by a trip to Goa. Hubby is out of the country on a work trip and so thoroughly conspicuous by his absence.
Today is 31st and here I am celebrating the new year with my parents,  sister and family. Feeling partly emotional as sister is relocating out of the country so it might be long before we celebrate together as a family again.
Anyways here's hoping the new year ushers in good health, happiness and cheer to everyone.  Happy New Year !!!

Just a housewife?

Yesterday I met an ex colleague of mine first time after I quit work.  When she saw me the first thing she exclaimed was "oh you have become so thin I expected you would have put on some weight since you are now relaxing at home". Though those were not her exact words what she meant was roughly on the same lines. 
How do I deal with people who think being a full time mum is less taxing than a job in the software industry?  
My typical day begins at 6:30 AM when I rush to prepare breakfast.  After hubby leaves for work at 7:45 AM it’s only me who has to do everything right from brushing my daughter's teeth to feeding her breakfast and bathing her. Only I know how daunting each of these tasks is. Rest of the morning is largely spent in cooking, getting my daughter dressed and dropping her to school. After a quick lunch I rush to pick up Anagha from school followed by chores like getting her changed, feeding her lunch and putting her to sleep after which I am so exhausted that I have to take a nap. Evenings are spent in again feeding Anagha, taking her out to play and dinner preparation. And of course in between there are miscellaneous chores like folding clothes, filling water, watering the plants, etc. By the time I am ready to hit the sack I am completely drained out and have zero energy left so where is the question of relaxing at home?
What people do not realise is that in an office job the work hours are fixed, you get paid holidays/vacations, weekends off and a heavy pay packet.  I work from morning to night with no weekend offs and no salary or appreciation for good work and yet people think I am relaxing at home. Forget appreciation, one badly cooked meal and I am at the receiving end.  Does it bother me that a very highly paid successful professional at one time, now I am reduced to doing mundane work?  Yes sometimes it does. I feel like I am losing my identity, I feel the urge to go out and do something.  So do I want to go to the lifestyle I had when I was working full time? Certainly not!

When I quit my full time job, I had this notion of that I am doing this for my daughter, I will be able to raise my child my way. To some extent I have been successful and my daughter has certainly started bonding with me much better than before. And I definitely feel relaxed not having to constantly worry about deadlines, take client calls at odd hours and having the freedom to do what I want and when I want. So then why am I complaining? I guess because it is human tendency to never be satisfied and always complain.  The grass is definitely greener on the other side of the fence.

Six things I have learnt from my 3 year old

1) Take pleasure in the small things in life. So be it just watching pigeons from the window or licking her fingers while eating chocolate, the expression on her face is worth watching. We adults are always in the pursuit of some bigger pleasures that we miss out on the finer joys in life. We miss out on our present.

2) Show your appreciation.  Many times Anagha randomly comes and hugs me and kisses me. Ask her why and she will say because you picked me up from school or because you gave me water to drink. This is something we should definitely learn from kids because many a times we hold back on even saying a simple thank you, not because we don’t want to but because we let our egos come in the way.

3) Laugh heartily. Anagha laughs for simple things and her laughter is so from the heart, so genuine that it makes me wonder why we adults are eternally grumpy and grieving about something or the other. 

4) Do not hold grudges. Many times I lose my patience and yell at Anagha unreasonably.  But children forget easily and forgive even more easily. So when I go to Anagha after a while she gives me her same sweet smile and goes on blabbering normally as if nothing has happened. Again something worth learning, life is too short to hold on to bitter thoughts and playing blame games on whose fault it was. Just forgive and let go of the resentment, it will save you precious time.

5) Go slow. We adults are always in a hurry. We finish the chore at hand and rush towards the next task.  But kids enjoy each and everything they do. So after giving Anagha a bath she splashes water in the tub and only comes out after the last drop of water has drained from the tub. She does not treat bathing as a chore but fully enjoys it. If we adults treat chores which we anyways have to do with a little more enthusiasm wouldn’t it make the work at hand a little less taxing?

6) Be content. We have told Anagha  that every time she finishes a meal, God will reward her with a candy in her father’s pocket. So after finishing a meal she very religiously prays to God with her eyes closed and hands folded while I quietly slip the candy in my husband’s pocket. Anagha then comes and check’s her dad’s pocket and when she gets her sweet, she is elated.  She gleefully runs off to say thank-you to God and then munches on her chocolate. That is it, she is satisfied, she does not ask for more. Again, a lesson worth learning since we adults are never satisfied, whenever we get what we want, we always crave for more.

Ganesh chaturti 2013

Finally I was going to visit my native village after 7 long years for Ganesh chaturti. I was super excited. This is the first time I was taking my daughter Anagha and I was very eager that she participates in the Ganesh Chaturti celebrations and experiences the fun we had as children. As we drove through the narrow roads on our way to my ancentral village, the childhood days flashed in front of my eyes and I started reminiscing about those days when we would all get together and celebrate the 5 day long Ganesh chaturti festival with much ado. We have a huge ancentral house at our native village in Panchawadi in Goa where my extended family (descendents of ny great grandfather's father) get together for this festival. With fond memories in my mind of singing aartis loudly and sitting on the huge balkav (patio) outside the house or playing a variety of games I looked forward to reliving those experiences all over again.
The moment I arrived in panchawadi I sensed a changed air but couldn't pinpoint my finger on what was it that was different. The balkav which at one time would be so occupied that we kids were made to sit in the older ones lap, now has a deserted look. The aartis have lost their spirit and are sung just for the sake of it.  At one time there used to be 2-3 pangats for meals now the few scattered people self serve food at sit wherever they find  place. It then struck me that the biggest culprit is time. Time has passed and along with it made changes that are irreversible.  I looked around and found that everyone has suddenly aged. All my uncles who used to be enthusiastic participants in the balkav conversations now have some or the other health issues thereby making the evening gatherings scanty.  Several of my cousins who used to be active coordinators in the games and other activities are now married thus leaving a void never to be filled.
I am feeling sad to see a once flourishing house decay slowly. I sincerely pray to Ganpati Bappa to restore this house to its past glory.

Down the memory lane

As I dress up my daughter for her first day at school the last 2.8 years flash forward in front of my eyes and I can’t help but take a trip down the memory lane. Time flies so fast. It seems like yesterday when my I held my little baby in my arms for the first time. And already it is her first day at school.

From a screaming infant to a curious toddler to a walking and talking robot to a  nonstop chatterbox the journey has been eventful and full of surprises, albeit pleasant ones. I cannot help but wonder when my gurgling and cooing baby turned into a little big girl.

There is a turmoil of emotions in my mind and I don't know how to feel. I find myself oscillating between elation and apprehension. One part of me is swelling with satisfaction and pride watching my little baby in school uniform while the mother in me is filled with anxiety. While I am extremely happy and excited that my tiny bundle of joy is on the verge of a new beginning, I also realise with a lump in my throat that my baby is slowly getting ready to spread her wings and soar high in the sky while I will slowly fade away into a distant spectator. On one hand, I am overjoyed that my daughter is taking her first steps towards adulthood, on the other hand I also feel sad that slowly my baby's childhood innocence will be lost and she will soon be weighed down with the responsibilities of growing up.

 But I think in the end happiness and pride overcome all other emotions and I can wish for nothing but the best for my dear daughter as she takes her first steps towards this new journey. 

Evolution

While the title is evolution, don’t be put off thinking that this might be another elaborate post challenging Darwin’s theory about the transition of the homo sapien species from ape to man. As I am writing this post with a stylus pen from my new Samsung galaxy Note II, I cannot help but admire the transformation that a cell phone has gone through. From heavy weight gadgets to today’s Android/Windows/iOS smart phones, from being a luxury which only a privileged few could afford to a household commodity owned even by vegetable vendors and auto rickshaw drivers, the humble cell phone has come a long way. Today it has become a necessity that we cannot live without, and so I decided to dedicate my next post to this wonderful gadget.
The first ever cell phone I saw was way back in 1997-98 where my dad brought an AT and T Nokia phone home. It had a huge antenna, was the size of a walkie-talkie and weighed like a melon. It could be used as a paper weight. Nevertheless the idea that you could place a call from anywhere was by itself so exciting that we could not help but admire this small wonder.
My very first phone was a Nokia 3100.In those days owning a mobile phone was considered to be a status symbol and I would proudly show off my phone wherever I went.
Soon a new species of phones with colour screens and cameras came around and my black and white phone started appearing outdated. So my next phone was a Sony Ericsson K700i. How I came to buy this phone is a long story, but to cut a long story short, the true Virgo that I am, I launched an in depth analysis of all the phones in the market in my pursuit to own “The best” phone, putting down the pros and cons of every phone in the market, deciding on one phone one minute and switching to the next one in the blink of an eye. And then one fine day my younger sister went out shopping and bought a Nokia 6600 as casually as she would buy a new item of clothing or a pair of shoes. With a colour screen, built in MP3 player and camera it left me feeling sore. And that is the story of my Sony Ericsson K700i, bought in a last ditch effort to outshine my sister’s phone and that I did for with a colour screen, MP3 plus real media player, camera and 32 MB memory it was a class apart. At work people would stop by my desk to take a look at my cute and small (small phones were trendy in those days unlike today) phone and I would proudly show off all the features.
There was an old Pepsi ad that went "Yeh Dil Maange More" which very well depicts the human tendency of never being satisfied and I was no exception. My next phone was a Nokia N73, gifted to me by my dad, saying he had no use for such a “high end” phone. With 64 MB RAM, 3.15MP camera it was the thing in vogue and I could not let go of it.
Next, touchscreen phones caught my fancy and being a true Nokia fan, I bought myself a Nokia C7. With a touch screen, 8MP camera, 8GB ram it was a beauty. The best part was the web and email accessibility, with an internet connection on your phone; you no longer needed to rely on having a PC around in order to get online.
Then Andriod and particularly Samsung hit the market big time. What started as a casual fling with my Dad’s Android phone turned out to be a serious love affair and to my dismay I found that life without Andriod was colourless and grey.  Dad then gifted me a brand new Samsung Galaxy Note II (My present phone using which I am writing this post). With a 5.5 inches screen,  8 MP camera, Android OS, v4.1.1 (Jelly Bean),  Quad-core 1.6 GHz Cortex-A9 CPU, and a stylus pen, it is the phone of the moment. It reminds me of the Onida ad, "Neighbours envy, owner’s pride!
So that is the story of how I transitioned from being awestruck about my black and white Nokia phone to feeling depressed about my touch screen Non-Android based phone. Yes, technology has evolved and so have we. While I am at the risk of sounding too philosophical,  is it not true that not so long ago we would write letters, call people on their home numbers or stop by a neighbour to say hello. Today SMS and emails have become a way of life and we cannot live without this little gizmo.

Home sweet home

In my last post, I ranted about my love for Goa. But as I enter my home in Pune, only three words enter my mind, "Home sweet home". That sums up everything.   They say home is where the heart is.  As I enter my home in Pune, I realize how true that is. In my bedroom lies the most comfortable bed in the whole world. Each familiar sight, be it the corner by the dining table where my daughter loves to play, the settee where she likes to sit and eat, my wardrobe filled with clothes and my other worldly possessions, everything fills me with glee.  Maybe this is how memories are created. Unknowing to me and stealthily this brick and cement house has crept into my heart and created memories for a lifetime. I am lucky to have the best of both worlds.

Goa of my dreams

As we drive through the familiar Goan roads lined with paddy fields and coconut palms, it makes me feel very nostalgic. Having lived in Goa for 25 years of my life, I have adjusted very well to the hectic life in Pune in the last few years. But still, every time I come to Goa, I feel like I have come home. The fresh air itself is a welcome change from the polluted roads in Pune.

 The coconut palms, the familiar sight of people dressed in their best clothes and going to church on a Sunday and a pader (person selling Goan bread) riding his bicycle on the narrow roads gives me a sense of belonging. As I enter my home in Vasco, it makes me fondly reminisce about my childhood days.  This house where I grew up, where I played with my little sister, where my mum used to feed both of us, where my grandfather would sit on his chair and watch us, where we would sit on the swing in the balcony and play, the memories are endless. Even now when I enter this home, I feel safe and protected, I feel like I am a child once again.

As I take my daughter for a stroll in the narrow street in front of my house, I am greeted warmly by old neighbours many of who have known me since I was a toddler with bai kashe asa?(meaning how are you). A simple greeting, but leaves me feeling overwhelmed, makes me feel welcome.

On a trip to Vasco market with my mother I am met with familiar sights like "hotel La-paz" the only good restaurant in Vasco where we have had many meals as a family for many years, “National cloth shop”, the only cloth shop in Vasco where we used to shop for clothes, the temple of lord Damodar where we used to go every Monday, and so on. Even the fruit and vegetables vendors know most of the customers personally and always greet them. This being the Christmas and New Year season, in the evenings many house are lit up with Christmas lights, reminding me of childhood days again. Every Diwali mum would send us off with Diwali sweets for our neighbours and every Christmas we would wait for their Christmas goodies . That tradition continues till date.  It makes me feel proud about my Goan people always living in harmony.

Just yesterday I attended a typical Goan marriage once again found myself relating to each and everything, be it the wedding rituals or the typical marriage food or looking at the women clad in silk sarees and symbolic Goan jewellery from head to toe. Whether I like it or not, I was one of them.

This and numerous other incidents and sights in Goa take me on a trip down the memory lane. No matter where life takes me, these days will always be special.

A new beginning

I recently completed one month of being a housewife, or if you want to put it in more sophisticated terms, being a “stay at home mom”! People ask me how I feel, what do I do the whole day, whether I am regretting leaving behind a wonderful career etc.

My answer to all the above is I feel great. I have no regrets whatsoever. Some of the things I enjoy doing at home now:

Mummy and Anagha time

I love spending time with my daughter. Her endless chatter and innocent questions is music to my ears.  I cannot express in words how much pleasure I get from what may seem like trivial chores of feeding her, bathing her, changing her clothes, putting her to sleep, etc.  I no longer have to leave for office with a heavy heart about leaving my crying child behind. I no longer have to deal with the guilt about rushing my baby into breakfast and then give her a 2 minute namesake bath just because I need to dash to office. Now I let her splash in the tub as long as she wants; just watching her squeal with pleasure leaves me feeling satisfied.

I also look forward to our afternoon nap time.  We place games, we talk, I tell her stories and slowly she drifts off to sleep. I love stroking her cheek once she is asleep. Hugging your child tight once she is asleep gives you such a high which cannot be described; you have to be a mother to experience it. I have been deprived of this pleasure for a long time now and God alone knows the sorrow I felt. But now, I can hug her all I want, touch her whenever I feel like, and kiss her forehead once she is asleep. It makes me feel complete. It makes my decision to quit work worth it, it makes up for everything, and it’s the best joy in the world.

In the evening, I take Anagha for a stroll. We normally visit the Ganesh temple near my house. Anagha loves going there and I also feel peaceful there. I have had enough evenings being locked in my room at home taking work related conference calls, so this is a welcome change. I enjoy the cool evening breeze, and most of all, I enjoy holding Anagha’s tiny hand and walking with her.

Tiding my home

My husband will not like me saying this, but my number two priority after my daughter is my house.  For many years now, I have neglected my home and leaving it in the hands of others has always left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Now I actually get time for cleaning my home. I am not exaggerating here when I say that this really gives me a lot of pleasure.  I love rearranging the furniture in my home, I enjoy scrubbing the kitchen tiles, I like polishing the windows, after all it’s my home, I need to take care of it.  A home is like a baby, it needs your constant attention.   Of course it is really difficult to keep a house spotless when you have a 2 year old around who is ready to strew toys around the moment you put them away, but at least now you will no longer find dust accumulated on the TV cabinet and bills stacked up on the dining table waiting to be filed.

Kitchen adventures

From the time I quit working, I have started frequenting the kitchen much more. Always being in a hurry to rush to work, I have had to leave this chore to others leaving me with a guilt feeling of not being able to contribute enough. Now I have the satisfaction of being able to do my bit. I am not a great cook, so this is also helping improve my culinary skills.   

Conclusion

Many people may find this routine drab and monotonous, and maybe women who have not got the opportunity to pursue careers may consider me crazy for throwing away a successful career in return for a life of domesticity. But from my perspective, this is the opportunity to make up for all the years I have lost in my mad career frenzy.  I feel like this is the beginning of a new journey for me. I have never ever felt so rewarded in my 12 years of career as a software professional.  Maybe the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and maybe once the novelty starts fading, I will start craving for a professional life. But till then, I will enjoy this respite.

To Do List

Yesterday being my last day at work, I decided to make a list of things I now want to do:

·         Learn driving

·         Make a CD of my favorite songs

·         Sign up for some voluntary work with some NGO for children – mostly teaching

·         Learn something creative like pottery, or some kind of craft

·         Gain a flat tummy so that I can wear all my pre-pregnancy clothes

·         Write , write and write more

·         Read a lot of books

·         Reorganize some furniture at home

·         Update Anagha’s baby record book

·         Learn a foreign language

·         Clean my refrigerator

·         Research schools for my daughter

·         Find a better BSNL broadband plan

·         Update financial accounts

Hope I am able to do at least half of the things listed here! Fingers crossed!!

My Parenting Experience

My Parenting Experience

When I first learnt that I was pregnant, I had a nice rosy picture in front of my eyes of me cuddling a tiny bundle of joy just like I had done for my cousins’ babies. To me it was just that. Little did I realise that pregnancy and parenthood has much more to it than just holding a baby as per your convenience and handing it back to the mother the moment you feel bored. So read on.

Pregnancy

As I entered my 9^th month of pregnancy, each day I was praying to God to bring the baby out as soon as possible and relieve me from all the 3^rd trimester discomforts. I mean I was fed up of having to go to the toilet every 10 minutes, not being able to sit and watch TV even for half an hour without backaches, etc. I was longing for the moment when my baby would be born and I would be relieved of all my uneasiness.

Infant

My baby was born and brought so much joy to everyone. When I first looked at her, my first thought was how beautiful she is.  But even before the celebrations quietened and I could rejoice about my pregnancy nightmares finally being over, other challenges crept in. I mean I had heard from others that feeding the baby is not easy, but it turned out to be a huge challenge for me and took a while for both me and my baby to get accustomed to.  Also, babies have a way of knowing when their moms are at lunch/dinner, for that is the exact moment they will choose to soil their nappy. Sometimes my daughter would have marathon nappy wetting sessions and I would literally have to change her every 5 minutes.  And then there used to be days or rather nights where she would stay awake the whole night .I remember dozing off many a times while rocking her in my arms in my futile attempts to put her to sleep! It was then that I began to realize that pregnancy was a lot easier!

Days as a toddler

As she got a bit older, her sleep started stabilizing and she started eating other solid foods. I started relaxing a bit. But no, God does not have mercy on mothers. She soon started crawling all over the place and always kept me on my toes. From reaching out to the farthest objects, to mouthing all types of junk, it’s a harrowing experience. From morning to night I would continuously be on the run, either picking up thrown toys, or running after her with a bowl of cereal, or simply making sure she doesn’t hurt herself. I would wait for weekends to be over so that I could return to the peace and quiet of office on Mondays. I began to miss the days when she was an infant and it was a much quieter and a lot less stressful!

First steps and now.

The day she took her first steps, I was swelling with pride. Small steps by my little princess were a big achievement for me. However, she soon started discovering new pleasures and I found new causes to worry. She now stands on her tip toes and reaches out for newspapers, pens or any new object for that matter. Another thing I dread is meal times. Before every meal, I hope and pray that the meal would be finished without any ado. The tantrums have also started. If anyone dares to refuse something she wants, she starts howling and crying and yelling and a huge drama will ensue. Be it during meal times, or mid way in a tantrum, I in turn coax, beg , shout, bribe her and many a times find myself helpless in front of this little monster. Sometimes I feel life was much more peaceful when she was a toddler.

Looking back.

When I look back now, I realize how joyful each phase has been. While in pregnancy, everyone took utmost care of me.  When my baby was born, how I would enjoy talking to her and watching her smile and gurgle. During her toddler days, I loved the way she gestured and drew our attention and even now miss her incoherent blabbering. Now that she is almost two, she has turned so inquisitive and asks so many questions.  She tries to form huge sentences by joining words and some of her pronunciations are so funny and yet so cute that it’s a sheer pleasure listening to her. All in all, parenthood can be challenging, exhausting and overwhelming, but it can also be a huge source of happiness.