Goodbye blogger, wordpress here I come !!

Folks, Given the hype around wordpress these days,  I decided to give it a shot. I must admit that I wasn't too keen at first for I'm very emotional about my blog.  But when I saw wordpress, I wasn't dissapointed !!
So I've moved my blog to wordpress at reshmasmusings.wordpress.com.

Hoping I enjoy blogging at wordpress as much as I did here.

Moms for a better world..

This post is being written for #MomsforaBetterWorld Project for women's web

What is the one lesson I would like to teach my child?  I think it would be treating women equally.  No matter if you're a boy or girl you need to learn to treat women equally and to not accept second grade treatment.
More often than not women are objectified,  sidelined and treated like a doormat be it at the workplace, on the streets or even in their own homes. Your boss may give preferential treatment to  a male colleague or your brother at home may have special privileges. When both you and your husband get back home after a tiring day at work, you will be expected to help with chores while your husband rests. Your counterparts in villages and even in cities for that matter, are not allowed access to even basic facilities let alone a decent education just because they belong to the fairer sex.  In every walk of life you will come across people who will try to pull you down because you are a woman.  My lesson to you my dear daughter would be not to take it lying down. Don't accept it as your fate. Don't make it a way of life. Don't consider yourself weak just because you belong to the fairer sex and don't let those who think you are weak bog you down. You have equal rights much as anybody else and if someone is depriving you of them, don't be afraid to put up a fight. 

Just as you'd like to be treated equally, don't forget to give the same treatment to your children.  Don't discriminate between  your kids on the basis of their gender.

If I had a son, my lesson to him would be the same. Treat all women equally. Not only your mother, sister or ones in your near family and friend circle but also the girls on the street, the elderly maid, the vegetable vendors,  the sales girl in the store, your colleagues at the workplace. They are already struggling,  fighting daily with the inequalities of society and are tired of always ending up second place. Of always having to put up a fight to attain what they are entitled to. So have some consideration and don't deprive them of what is rightfully theirs.
Sad it is but true that our society is biased towards men . If my children learn to refuse to be part of this favoritism, I'll be proud of having done my bit to make the world a better place. 

Blind faith

Few days back, I visited Lord Shani temple at Shani shingnapur. Shani shingnapur is a small village close to Nashik which has a huge temple of Lord Shani. Thousands of devotees flock to this temple in good faith and offer their prayers.
After parking our car we alighted and  were guided to a puja shop courtesy of a 'kind soul' who helped all tourists. I don't think it was a coincidence that the shopkeeper there turned out to be this kind soul's confidante. But that's not the point here. 

Just to follow the customs of the place, we bought a Puja thali worth Rs 150/-.  How the shopkeeper tried to exhort money from us is another story and I'll leave it for some other day. Suffice it to say that I was totally disturbed by the commercialisation in a place which people revere as an abode of God; these people were openly duping innocent tourists by toying with their sentiments and inciting fear of God. 

When we entered the temple, the first thing that struck me was that most people (including us)didn't really know what to do. So just like the others, we first laid down the coconut at the entrance. Next we poured oil in the designated area which is then pumped via an elaborate mechanism on the idol of the deity thus ensuring a continuous flow of oil. I cannot even imagine how many litres of edible oil is wasted due to this practice.
Finally we offered the "prasad" packet (containing flattened rice and sweet til gul) at the feet of the deity just like others.  After a while a huge pile of these "prasad" packets were accumulated at the feet of the deity. To my utmost horror, the security guard just swept all these away and trashed them!!!
My first thought was , Was this man insane to do something so preposterous? But then I realised that he must be just following instructions from authorities but just imagine the audacity of issuing such instructions.
In India, lakhs of people go hungry, have no food to eat and these people have the nerve to just trash food that could have been fed to many hungry mouths.
I instantly realised the folly of what I was doing and was totally ashamed of myself for indulging in such blind faith.The authorities were not the only ones to blame , people like me were equally part of the crime. Instead of wasting Rs 150/- on the puja thali,  had I offered the same to a poor hungry soul wouldn't my money have been put to better use? Most certainly !!
I have now resolved that never again will I waste money/food items in the name of God. I am not an atheist and neither am I against God. But my personal belief is that such unwarranted external exhibition of piousness is uncalled for.And this blind devotion has reaffirmed my beliefs. God doesn't need our flowers, oil, coconut or our money for that matter. Just joining hands and offering a sincere prayer is enough.

If only.....

If only we had the courage to confront our fears. If only we stopped fearing the consequences of our actions. If only we were able to silence our doubts. If only.....

A lot of "If onlys" but no answers. Yes its true.Many times we give in to our fears. We give our problems a lot of weigtage and consider them to be of a much bigger magnitude than they really are. Our fear of  facing the repercussions of our actions keeps us from confronting our problems for too long and eventually they appear impossible to handle.

Be it a job related decision like job change, taking up/leaving a job, moving houses/relocation or a decision related to the child like school change/diet change,   we fear change.We do not want to move out from our comfort zone. We are afraid of shadows. Our inhibitions lead us to put up with sufferings which we could put an end to if only we had the courage to tackle them. How else can you explain the fact that sometimes people suffering from chronic illnesses choose to endear excruciating pain rather than face treatment/ surgery just out of fear? 

I've had my own apprehensions which caused me a lot of sleepless nights. Fears about exams/studies,  about career, about cooking, and many more. But most of the times I have  been surprised by how easy it was when I tackled my most dreaded fears.

Now that I am a mother, most of my fears revolve around decisions related to my daughter. For instance my daughter had a thumb sucking habit. I was afraid to try something drastic that would make her give it up as I was worried about how she would react. I was afraid of dealing with the aftereffects of making her give up thumb sucking, namely the tantrums, screaming, spending sleepless nights.  I had really given up and thought it was impossible to get her to give it up. But when she finally gave it up , I was surprised at how easy it was.  Just the fear of the repercussions was keeping me from trying.

I guess the really difficult part is making up our mind, of resolving within ourselves to take charge and change the situation. If we are able to do this, half the battle is won. But most of the times, we do not have the courage to take this small step. Our fears pull us back. 

If only we had the courage to confront our fears. If only we stopped fearing the consequences of our actions. If only we were able to silence our doubts. If only.....

Voice of a smart phone

Let me tell you a story,
The story of my life,
How I evolved from an electronic gadget,
To an integral part of your life.

I made a very humble start,
For calling and texting I was devised,
There was no chatting or emailing ,
Very basic needs I sufficed.

And then my future generations evolved,
More trendy, sophisticated and stylish,
With loads and loads of features,
We gave you pure bliss.

Thus slowly and stealthily,
Into your life I crept,
So much so that life without me,
You now find hard to adapt.

I've got you totally hooked,
You cannot stay away from me,
And even a few seconds,
Feel like an eternity.

You use me for your every need,
Be it online gaming or shopping,
Connecting with the world or internet search,
Chatting with friends or social networking.

Whenever you  have a few minutes,
To me you sneak,
Be it checking emails or whats-app,
You just can't resist a peek.

Just as you need air to breathe,
And food and water to thrive,
I've become a necessity
That you need in order to survive.

If I'm plugged in for charging,
You feel lost and lonesome
If by mistake you leave me home,
It's like you've left back a vital body organ.

No need to chat with strangers,
In order to kill time in a bus or train,
Who needs friends or relatives,
When I'm around to entertain.

No need to waste time
During commercial breaks on TV,
Even while playing with your kid,
You can simultaneously toy with me.

Boredom and loneliness are at bay,
When I'm by your side,
Who needs nosy neighbors,
When I'm around as your companion and guide.

I've connected you with friends from far
And made distances, time zones disappear
So what if I've made you insensitive
To the needs of ones who are near.

When hubby is discussing a work issue,
Or mum is sharing a recipe,
Or kid is animatedly describing school fun,
You are too engrossed with me.

You put me before everyone else,
I feel like I've achieved a great feat,
For in order to seek your attention,
Your dear ones must with me compete.

Childhood days...

Poem reliving memories of my childhood days.........

Wonderful were those days
when we were young
Without a care about the world
Life could never go wrong.

Living in our childhood home,
Feeling safe and protected
Ignorant about life's harsh realities,
A happy and carefree life we led.

Dad shielded us from the big bad world,
Mum wiped away our tears
In our parents caring arms
We lived without any fears.

Caught up with studies in school
Called teachers names,
Played with friends in the evenings, 

badminton and other games.

We loved ice creams and cakes
Pastries, chocolates and lollipop
Playing in parks filled us with glee
We looked forward to visiting toy shops.

Woke up late on Sunday mornings
Spent endless time in front of the TV
Played video games and watched cartoons
Mickey mouse and Tom and Jerry.

Did homework, praticed craft
Read books and stories untold
Rode bicycles, Played with dolls, 
We lived in our own make believe world.

Get together with cousins during summer vacations,
Laughter and good times galore
Playing card games, eating pani puri
Enjoyment to the core.

Laughed for the silliest reasons
And sometimes shed tears
Did whatever we wanted and wore what we liked
Spoke our mind without any fears.

No worries about housework, 

No insecurities about career
No tensions about kids or
What to cook for dinner.

No egos to hone
No pretenses about life,
No appearances to keep up
No pride to cause strife.

No regrets about the past
No dissent about today
No fretting about the future,
Come what may.

No fear of criticism or misunderstandings,
No tensions about facing humiliation
Anger, hurt, resentment, mistrust or hatred
Such emotions were alien.

Such was the beauty of childhood,
The realities of life were unknown
Sometimes I wish I was still a child,
Sometimes I wish I'd never grown.

For somewhere along the journey
From little kids to grown ups,
We payed a huge price
The innocence of childhood was lost.

The challenges of being a stay-at-home mum

Has anyone ever thought about the challenges of being a stay at home mum? Just like a working woman has to put up with targets, pressures and deadlines, so does a stay at home mum. Why ? Well simply because she is 'at home'
For instance her home is expected to be spick and span all the time. So what is the kid is throwing toys around the house at all times and the husband is too lazy to put his stuff in place? She is expected to clean after them.
And her kids are supposed to be well-behaved at all times. In the case of a working mom it is alright if the kids are not on their best behavior or don't do that well in studies. After all their mother is working so they get that extra leeway. But a a stay-at-home mum is not given such allowance. One instance of bad behavior by the kid or one academic failure and she is instantly crucified for negligence. Does anyone realize what tremendous pressure this is?
She is not expected to require any domestic help. After all she has the entire day to do the household chores. But a poor working woman already has too much to do at her workplace,  so she cannot be burdened further with mundane tasks so in her case hiring domestic help is perfectly justified. 
If a stay-at-home mum is seen laughing and gossiping with her girl gang she is immediately criticized. Oh these housewives have nothing else to do the whole day than gossip about clothes and jewelry is what we hear. However it is perfectly okay for working women to have long coffee sessions with her friends in office. After all she needs a break from her stressful work.  Come on people, give the poor woman a break, a stay-at-home mum is entitled to a change from routine work as much as a working mum.
A stay-at-home mum is expected to be an excellent cook. If a working mom messes up a meal well so what? She probably has other important stuff to do than practice cooking.  But a stay-at-home mum has all day to hone her cooking skills. So there is no excuse or scope for error. One badly cooked meal and people are ready to pounce on her and tear her self confidence to pieces.
Isn't it an unfair expectation from any person not just a stay-at-home mum to never err?
I am ashamed to say that when I was working full-time, I felt the same way. However being a stay-at-home mum for the past 2 years has given me a whole new perspective and I realize how wrong I was.  Being a stay-at-home mum is a most challenging and underrated job. I'm not saying life is a bed of roses for a working mom but to be biased and judge someone simply on the basis of whether they are working or not is grossly unfair. It just results in undue pressure. 
So next time you think it is all play and no work for a stay-at-home mum, just remember that she has her own challenges which as as stressful as those of a working mom if not more. She is extremely fatigued of people peeking into her life and being critical of every aspect of it. So just respect her decision of being a stay-at-home mum and let her be.

Womanly women

When we were at my first job, me and my girl gang had created some 'womanly woman' rules. We were fresh out of college and did not have a care about the world. We loved a good laugh. What's a 'womanly woman' you wonder? Well , read the following rules and you will know for yourself. All womanly women possess these qualities and all those aspiring to be a womanly  women  should  adhere to them .

Note: I am sorry if this post is offensive to some people, but it was completely unintentional. I do not mean to mock anyone,  my only intention behind writing this post was to relive those good memories with friends.

1. Womanly women have long hair.
2. Womanly women have long nails gleaming with nail polish.
3. Womanly  women don't  laugh loudly, they shyly giggle.
4. Womanly woman always sit with their legs together and never with their legs apart.
5. Womanly women are experts in draping saris and can walk without tripping while wearing one.
6. Womanly women bat their eyelids when  speaking to a member of the opposite sex.
7. Womanly women always wear a bindi even if they are wearing western outfits.
8. Womanly women love wearing bangles on their hands and 'paayal' on their feet.
9. Womanly women are soft spoken.
10. Womanly women are pious and believe in fasting.
11. Womanly women are the unquestionable authorities  when it comes to religious customs and traditions.
12. Womanly women can cook and love cooking.

New year, new beginnings....

I don't know about others but every new year fills me with new hope. Its like a new start to life, to make up for all the things I missed doing in the past year.

Resolutions for this year- Well exercise and stay fit, eat healthy,  make my daughter more independent,  drive a vehicle, be a bit more relaxed .....

Not sure how many of the above I will be able to achieve. .but I'm feeling positive!!!

What a coincidence that this is also my 50th post in this blog. When I started this blog in 2012, I never imagined that I would reach this mark. I thought this blog was just a passing hobby that would be forgotten over time. But it turned out to be just the opposite. Each post makes me want to write more. This blog has given me a new avenue to vent my feelings, to say what I want to say, to express my views without fear.

So here's hoping I reach the 100 posts mark by the end of this year !!

Happy New Year!!!

Then and now. .....

A poem which highlights  the difference  in childhood days then and now.....

When I look at the world  around me, I must confide
So much has changed as compared to the nineties, when I was a child

To watch chitrahar and sunday movie on doordarshan we would be keen
Now such a variety of channels, daily soaps, movies and reality shows can be seen

There was no email we would write letters on paper 
Now communication happens via Facebook, Whatsapp  and Twitter

We watched cartoons like Mickey mouse and tom and jerry
Nowadays TV channels show pokemon, doreamon and oggy

Rasna was our favourite  drink,
Coke and pepsi were distant things

Our favourite actors were sharukh, kajol and Aamir
Nowadays kids are crazy about Varun Dhavan, Alia and Ranbir

We loved pani puri and other chaat
There was no Mc donalds, kfc or pizza hut

DDLJ and HAHK were our favourite movies
Kids nowadays disregard them as cheesy love stories

Our cricketing heros were Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid and Ganguly
Nowadays we hear the names Rohit Sharma, Suresh Raina and Virat Kohli 

To play games like hopscotch and hide and seek we would rush
Nowadays kids only care about angry Birds and Candy Crush

We would scour 'Tell me why' books for our research 
Today's  kids prefer using internet and google search

Baggy pants and A line dresses were in fashion
Unlike leggings and jeggings in comparison 

Life back then was not so competitive
And exams and other tensions were few 

All this and numerous other things make me feel so old
So much has changed  and I have so many memories to hold

No generation is good or bad, they have their ups and downs
We can't smile upon one and upon the other frown

Time and tide wait for no man as they say
And we must embrace new stuff as it comes our way

Generations may change and trends are never the same
But across changing times, our values we must retain

5 life lessons that I would like to teach my daughter

1. Respect for parents
Any parent no matter if they are rich or poor want their children to have the best and they would go to any extent,  undergo any sacrifice to ensure that their children don't miss out on anything. As a child I was aware of the sacrifices my parents made for me.  But being a mother has given me a whole new perspective. So my dear daughter, no matter where life takes you just remember that there are two people who love you unconditionally no matter what. In return all they ask for is you to remember them and respect them. 

2. Focus on Education
I cannot emphasize how important education is. I know many people cite Sachin Tendulkar's example to make a point that a degree is not necessary in order to be successful. But that is just a one off instance. Without a proper education you are nobody in this world.  Education gives you the financial independence to face the world with self confidence. 

3. Marry wisely but don't expect your marriage to be a fairy-tale  
Never marry for looks or money or simply due to peer pressure. Marry the person who will be the rock in your life, who will stay with you in difficult times. Don't go around looking for your tall dark and handsome prince charming. Rather  marry the person you can share your golden years with.
Marriage is not all rosy contrary to what you see on TV.  Unlike the happily ever after ending, the real challenges kick in after you get married. There are  adjustments, misunderstandings etc which may lead to fights and but don't let your ego get in the way of love. 

4. Count your blessings
Life is a race and the moment you get what you want there will be more goals in front of you. Better job, higher salary, bigger house, bigger car the list is endless. Its only human to want something better in life but  don't let this quest ruin the journey. Just take a pause sometimes and be grateful for what you have. Think of the less fortunate ones who don't have what you do and would gladly trade places with you. 

5. Eat healthy and exercise 
Though you may not realize the importance of this at a young age, I cannot stress how important it is to eat healthy food. You may give yourself the occasional treat of junk food but don't make it a way of life.  A healthy lifestyle  will go a long way in keeping sickness at bay. Plus staying fit makes you feel good about yourself.

Movies from 'my' time.....

With so many new movies coming out I nowadays find very few movies that I can relate to. When I was younger, my parents would often ridicule the movies we watched stating that the movies 'nowadays' are no match for the movies during 'their' times while I silently wondered how those slow paced movies with bulky actors could possibly be better. 15 years on, I understand what they mean and I feel the same way. So while the next generation may mock me for my choice of movies, I would still like to list down my favorite movies from my generation :)

1. Pyar toh hona hi tha
This is my all time favorite movie. I have fond memories of watching this movie nearly 15 years ago with my best friends. I still remember the dialog "aisa hi hoon main" which made us all fall in  love with Ajay Devgan  :) I think this was the starting point of Ajay Devgan's career shift  from being an action hero  to romantic/comedy movies and he pulled it off well. The Ajay Devgan-Kajol  on screen chemistry coupled with a few comic scenes makes this a most entertaining film.   
2. Dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge
Another hit movie of my generation . I'm  sure every girl from my generation  will have this movie  in their top 5 list. The Raj-Simran pair played by Shahrukh-Kajol romance on screen really makes one want to  fall in  love.The scenic European outdoors add the cherry on top of the cake and make this movie a visual delight.
3. Rang de basanti
The story of 5 youngsters who get inspired by India's freedom  struggle and rebel against present day corruption. Each of the 5 characters play their parts to perfection.  I liked this movie, because it was different, it was a welcome change from the mediocre films coming out in those days. This film made the audience sit up and take notice.  All in all a wonderful movie, makes the hair on your hand stand up.
4.  Dil toh paagal hai 

Another of my favorite love stories.  Madhuri plays the role of a girl living in her own dreams and Shahrukh of a person who doesn't believe in love. How they gradually realise that they are destined for each other formulates the rest of the story. Madhuri's dance performances leave the audience spellbound and the soft romantic music makes you want to listen to it over and over again. 

5. Dil chata hai

This movie has a certain charm about it which makes it very likable.  This is the story of three friends and their journey from carefree college guys to mature adults. I bet each of us has this phase in life when we are young and without a care about the world. The three lead actors fit into their character's skins very well, be it Akshaye Khanna  as the serious brooding guy in the group or Saif as the confused womaniser or Aamir Khan as the joker of the group. That combined with Aamir khan's comic sense of timing and Preity Zinta's perky self makes this a movie a must watch.

Time to show off again...

My blog published in womens web:

5-things-about-daily-soaps-that-completely-baffle-me
reminders-for-life-ten-parenting-rules-you-cannot-miss


My poem published in tell-a-tale.com:

Am I a Bad Mother?

Am I a bad mother?

Inspired by my childhood poems, decided to write one...

Am I a bad mother  if 

Sometimes I feel like completing a meal in one go?

Or feel like watching an undisturbed round of my  favorite TV show?

Sometimes I feel like spending exclusive time with hubby

Maybe a candle light dinner or simply watching a movie ?  

If  sometimes I miss the highs of my full time job?
And giving  it all up for my kid sometimes makes me quietly sob?

If sometimes an uninterrupted cup of tea I would like to enjoy?

Or sometimes I just don't feel like playing with jigsaw puzzles and other toys  ?

Sometimes I feel like spending time with friends,
And going for shopping and dining trips immense?

If sometimes I  feel bored of the cajoling and coaxing

And ensuring my child finishes her meal sometimes I find taxing?

If sometimes with the tantrums I am unable to put up with

And I feel  bored of narrating stories, singing lullabies and brushing teeth?

If sometimes spending some 'me' time is all I wish?

Maybe reading my favorite book or just lying around as much as I please?

I love my daughter so much, she's the best gift I could receive

But just sometimes if I miss the above, dear God will you forgive?

Holding my child in my arms, being able to touch and caress

Are out of the world feelings that I would never trade for anything else. 

But just sometimes I miss  life's little pleasures

And being able to enjoy them is all the heart desires

No I don't think I am a bad mother

I am but a human being just  like  any other

Childhood poems

On a recent trip to my parent's place in Goa, I discovered this poem collection that I had written as a child and decided to start a blog with these poems in order to preserve them.

This blog is still a work in progress, I am posting the poems one by one as and when I get time, so 

Do visit http://reshmaschildhoodpoems.blogspot.in/

:)

5 must haves for a successful daily soap

This post is also published on www.womensweb.in at  5-things-about-daily-soaps-that-completely-baffle-me/

1.      Large extended super rich families all living in peace and harmony

This is a sure shot formula for success.  Normal nuclear middle-class families where both partners work in a bid to catch up with inflation, pay huge EMIs and try to strike a balance between work life and kids are a strict no no. Instead larger than life stories far away from reality are the norm. Wondering how such extended families can co-exist so happily? Well don't forget the basic rule of the thumb while watching these shows,  keep your brains aside.  

2.      Women dressed to the nine.

No matter what the time of the day is, the women in the house should be geared up to flaunt their silk sarees and jewelry. Be it 6 am in the morning or 11 pm at night, the ladies should always have their lipstick and mascara intact. I wish they would share their secret with me for even a half hour stint in the kitchen leaves me drenched with sweat and my hair strewn as if I have run a marathon.  

3.      18th century ideologies packaged under the guise of culture and tradition which portray women in a most regressive way

 A few women clad in ghunghats under the guise of culture or women who are meek and submissive under the pretext of respect for elders or advocacy of superstition in the name of religion are the main ingredients behind a successful telly show. Well much as I  would like to question the sanity of the people who religiously follow such shows who am I to question this super hit formula? 
Rather I would like to use this platform to thank the people behind these shows for enlightening us ignorant folks about what is ‘right’ & ‘moral’ & what all decent women should do. Thanks to you now all would be mothers in law look for girls who can function as full time housekeepers, thanks to you we see matrimonial ads which go like “Wanted dutiful, obedient girl with good moral values”, thanks to you a career-oriented woman is considered immoral.

4.      Good women 

Now don't be misguided by the dictionary meaning of good for in the context of telly soaps good refers to a woman who possesses the following qualities:

• Her ‘Good’ behaviour often borderlines with foolishness
• She is straight out from a black and white film with "prannath main tumhare charno ki daasi ” attitude
• Her sugary sweet behaviour is often the reason for her mother in law’s diabetes, and makes you want to throw up
• She firmly believes silence is golden
• She would rather have the earth swallow her than defy her mother in law even for the most trivial matter
• She considers it a sin to dress in any attire other than sari or salwar kameez
• She has the ability to cry at the drop of a hat
• She follows a strict code of conduct by speaking only when spoken to
• The sole purpose of her life is to keep everyone in her family well fed

5.    Bad women

Again don't be biased by the literal meaning of this word, it merely refers to a woman who meets the following requirements:

• She has a flair for hatching evil schemes against family members
• She adheres to a strict dress code which includes low cut blouses and loud make-up
• Secretly listening behind doors is one of her prime duties
• She has least one extra marital affair preferably with a married man
• She dares to make her own decisions
• The whole purpose of her life is to plot against others
• She is bold enough to pursue a career

A side note though – Dear makers of these shows, with all due respect, I do not find your shows entertaining; rather I find them illogical, degrading to women and regressive. So please wake up. The world has progressed; it’s high time you move on too.

My Top 5 books..

As a follow up to my previous post, I am listing my top 5 books:

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

This is my all time favorite, I must have read it at least a 50 times but still fall in love with the characters every time I read it. The entire plot revolves around the main protagonist Elizabeth Bennett and a wealthy but proud man, Mr Darcy. Mr Darcy whose pride pushes him to prevent his close friend from marrying Elizabeth's sister because of her poor connections and ill mannered family is willing to forsake the same pride for his own love interest. On Elizabeth's part, the blind prejudice which she has for Mr Darcy keeps the readers enthralled. Other than that, the author paints a most authentic picture of 17th century England and one can almost visualise the life of the English people during those times, the class distinction in the English aristocracy, the dainty houses and the picturesque countryside. All in all a wonderfully told tale.

Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less - Jeffery Archer

Four men get cheated by one person. Realising that there is no legal recourse they decide to steal their money back. How each one of them comes up with a brilliant plan to outsmart the fraudster who conned them constitutes the rest of the story and an unexpected climax makes this a most fascinating read.

The Partner - John Grisham
Story of how a brilliant lawyer plans to steal money and defeats all odds of getting caught but in the end himself is betrayed by the one person he trusted. Again a most unexpected ending, wonderfully told tale like all John Grisham novels.

If Tomorrow Comes - Sidney Sheldon

Story of a gullible young woman who while seeking revenge for her mother’s death is caught in a net laid by her mother's perpetrators. Abandoned by her fiance and with no one to turn to, the rest of the plot elaborates how she survives against all odds and  seeks retribution and  her transition from a naive young woman to a seasoned thief makes a very interesting read.

The Bourne Identity - Robert Ludlum

In the first of the Jason Bourne series, a man wakes up with no memory of who he is or where he comes from. How he tries to discover his identity using just some vague recollections from the past to guide him amidst deadly attacks by unknown parties makes this a most action packed novel and you just cannot put it down till you reach the end.

A Gift of a Lifetime...

Today I read an Archie comic book after ages which made me reminisce my childhood days. I started reading at a very young age thanks to my dad who being an avid reader himself encouraged me and my younger sister to read very early on. The first book I ever read was a 'Tinkle' comic probably when I was 6 or 7 year old. What started as a casual pass time to put off temporary boredom turned out to be a lifetime obsession. From comics like Tinkle, Amar Chitra Katha,  Walt Disney, Phantom and Mandrake to Enid Blyton books like simple bedtime stories, school stories about Mallory Towers and St Clare's to detective mysteries like famous five and secret seven I was totally hooked. I remember curling up in some corner of the house with a book in hand and my favourite snack.  During summer vacation I would read endlessly from morning to night.  

During my teens, it was Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys and Agatha Christie who caught my attention. Hercule Poirot is my favourite character.
And then I discovered english fiction again thanks to my dad who has a huge collection of books. Ken Follett, Jeffery Archer, Sidney Sheldon became some of my favourite authors. Be it a murder investigation by Sidney Sheldon or a law trial by John Grisham or a war story by Jeffrey Archer or an epic by Ken Follett, I love them all. Other than English fiction I also love reading English classics and Jane Austen is one of my favourite authors. Nothing beats the thrill of starting a book and putting it down only after reading the last page. Even as I write this I am thinking of writing a follow up post about my favourite books :)

Reading not only improved my vocabulary but also gave me a wide exposure to the world. Plus it helps me relax and unwind and is a welcome change from the daily routine. 

Though I still love reading, I don't find that much time thanks to a 4 year old who keeps me on my toes all day long and of course my smartphone to which I'm glued whenever I can sneak in a few moments. Even then I still try to catch up with some reading whenever I lay my hands on a good novel.

And then a sudden realisation hit me.  Had it not been for my dad I would never have discovered the joy of books, so is it not my duty to give this wonderful gift to my daughter ? It most certainly is and by imbibing a reading hobby in my child I hope to give her a gift of a lifetime. 

 

10 Parenting rules..

We parents always lay down rules for our kids to follow. But in this post, I would like to put down some parenting rules. I don't intend to say I'm a perfect parent because I know I'm far from perfect. I make mistakes and I know that even as I write this I will break my own rules and still end making the same mistakes.  If not anything, this post will at least serve as a reminder to get myself in order the next time I misbehave with my kid J

1.      Never lose your cool in front of children.  You may pretend to be angry but don’t really be. A parent in a fit of rage is the worst sight for a child. Moreover children ape parents so if you hit them more likely that they are going to hit you back.

2.      Just as you reprimand your child for bad behaviour, appreciate good behaviour too.

3.      Difficult as it is to control your temper when your kid is throwing a tantrum, refrain from throwing one yourself for this will only make matters worse. Instead, divert their attention (and yoursJ), and things will automatically cool down.

4.      You may have had a bad day, or be upset about something or at someone, but don’t take it out on the child. Children find such erratic behavior from parents very hard to comprehend and it confuses them.

5.      You got to become a child sometimes while dealing with children.  Sometimes scolding and yelling does not work but explain to them in a way that they understand and that will do the trick. 

6.      When your child is telling you something, don’t just ignore it as useless blabbering, but listen. And I don’t mean just hear what they say, actually listen to them and try to sort their problems. However small and insignificant it may seem to you, those might be the biggest problems they have.

7.      If you promise your child something, keep the promise.  This will not only build their trust in you, but will also go a long way in inculcating the quality of keeping their word.

8.      Rather than trying to keep your kids away on a busy day involve them in your work. Give them small tasks to do. This will keep them out of mischief and also help you bond with your child. Plus children love it when parents involve them; it makes them feel big and wanted.

9.      If you want your child to do something, tell them not to do it and 9 times out of 10, they will do it. Not only children, adults also have the tendency to do exactly the opposite of what they are told so this more almost works every time!!

10.  And finally, you need immense patience while dealing with kids. Kids take their own sweet time for everything, whereas we adults are always dictated by the clock.  Don't let this become a cause of battle between you and your child. Let your child be a child.

Time to show off :)

Two of my blog posts published in women's web online magazine :)

1) Six things I have learnt from my child

2) Blessed with a girl