If only.....

If only we had the courage to confront our fears. If only we stopped fearing the consequences of our actions. If only we were able to silence our doubts. If only.....

A lot of "If onlys" but no answers. Yes its true.Many times we give in to our fears. We give our problems a lot of weigtage and consider them to be of a much bigger magnitude than they really are. Our fear of  facing the repercussions of our actions keeps us from confronting our problems for too long and eventually they appear impossible to handle.

Be it a job related decision like job change, taking up/leaving a job, moving houses/relocation or a decision related to the child like school change/diet change,   we fear change.We do not want to move out from our comfort zone. We are afraid of shadows. Our inhibitions lead us to put up with sufferings which we could put an end to if only we had the courage to tackle them. How else can you explain the fact that sometimes people suffering from chronic illnesses choose to endear excruciating pain rather than face treatment/ surgery just out of fear? 

I've had my own apprehensions which caused me a lot of sleepless nights. Fears about exams/studies,  about career, about cooking, and many more. But most of the times I have  been surprised by how easy it was when I tackled my most dreaded fears.

Now that I am a mother, most of my fears revolve around decisions related to my daughter. For instance my daughter had a thumb sucking habit. I was afraid to try something drastic that would make her give it up as I was worried about how she would react. I was afraid of dealing with the aftereffects of making her give up thumb sucking, namely the tantrums, screaming, spending sleepless nights.  I had really given up and thought it was impossible to get her to give it up. But when she finally gave it up , I was surprised at how easy it was.  Just the fear of the repercussions was keeping me from trying.

I guess the really difficult part is making up our mind, of resolving within ourselves to take charge and change the situation. If we are able to do this, half the battle is won. But most of the times, we do not have the courage to take this small step. Our fears pull us back. 

If only we had the courage to confront our fears. If only we stopped fearing the consequences of our actions. If only we were able to silence our doubts. If only.....

Voice of a smart phone

Let me tell you a story,
The story of my life,
How I evolved from an electronic gadget,
To an integral part of your life.

I made a very humble start,
For calling and texting I was devised,
There was no chatting or emailing ,
Very basic needs I sufficed.

And then my future generations evolved,
More trendy, sophisticated and stylish,
With loads and loads of features,
We gave you pure bliss.

Thus slowly and stealthily,
Into your life I crept,
So much so that life without me,
You now find hard to adapt.

I've got you totally hooked,
You cannot stay away from me,
And even a few seconds,
Feel like an eternity.

You use me for your every need,
Be it online gaming or shopping,
Connecting with the world or internet search,
Chatting with friends or social networking.

Whenever you  have a few minutes,
To me you sneak,
Be it checking emails or whats-app,
You just can't resist a peek.

Just as you need air to breathe,
And food and water to thrive,
I've become a necessity
That you need in order to survive.

If I'm plugged in for charging,
You feel lost and lonesome
If by mistake you leave me home,
It's like you've left back a vital body organ.

No need to chat with strangers,
In order to kill time in a bus or train,
Who needs friends or relatives,
When I'm around to entertain.

No need to waste time
During commercial breaks on TV,
Even while playing with your kid,
You can simultaneously toy with me.

Boredom and loneliness are at bay,
When I'm by your side,
Who needs nosy neighbors,
When I'm around as your companion and guide.

I've connected you with friends from far
And made distances, time zones disappear
So what if I've made you insensitive
To the needs of ones who are near.

When hubby is discussing a work issue,
Or mum is sharing a recipe,
Or kid is animatedly describing school fun,
You are too engrossed with me.

You put me before everyone else,
I feel like I've achieved a great feat,
For in order to seek your attention,
Your dear ones must with me compete.

Childhood days...

Poem reliving memories of my childhood days.........

Wonderful were those days
when we were young
Without a care about the world
Life could never go wrong.

Living in our childhood home,
Feeling safe and protected
Ignorant about life's harsh realities,
A happy and carefree life we led.

Dad shielded us from the big bad world,
Mum wiped away our tears
In our parents caring arms
We lived without any fears.

Caught up with studies in school
Called teachers names,
Played with friends in the evenings, 

badminton and other games.

We loved ice creams and cakes
Pastries, chocolates and lollipop
Playing in parks filled us with glee
We looked forward to visiting toy shops.

Woke up late on Sunday mornings
Spent endless time in front of the TV
Played video games and watched cartoons
Mickey mouse and Tom and Jerry.

Did homework, praticed craft
Read books and stories untold
Rode bicycles, Played with dolls, 
We lived in our own make believe world.

Get together with cousins during summer vacations,
Laughter and good times galore
Playing card games, eating pani puri
Enjoyment to the core.

Laughed for the silliest reasons
And sometimes shed tears
Did whatever we wanted and wore what we liked
Spoke our mind without any fears.

No worries about housework, 

No insecurities about career
No tensions about kids or
What to cook for dinner.

No egos to hone
No pretenses about life,
No appearances to keep up
No pride to cause strife.

No regrets about the past
No dissent about today
No fretting about the future,
Come what may.

No fear of criticism or misunderstandings,
No tensions about facing humiliation
Anger, hurt, resentment, mistrust or hatred
Such emotions were alien.

Such was the beauty of childhood,
The realities of life were unknown
Sometimes I wish I was still a child,
Sometimes I wish I'd never grown.

For somewhere along the journey
From little kids to grown ups,
We payed a huge price
The innocence of childhood was lost.

The challenges of being a stay-at-home mum

Has anyone ever thought about the challenges of being a stay at home mum? Just like a working woman has to put up with targets, pressures and deadlines, so does a stay at home mum. Why ? Well simply because she is 'at home'
For instance her home is expected to be spick and span all the time. So what is the kid is throwing toys around the house at all times and the husband is too lazy to put his stuff in place? She is expected to clean after them.
And her kids are supposed to be well-behaved at all times. In the case of a working mom it is alright if the kids are not on their best behavior or don't do that well in studies. After all their mother is working so they get that extra leeway. But a a stay-at-home mum is not given such allowance. One instance of bad behavior by the kid or one academic failure and she is instantly crucified for negligence. Does anyone realize what tremendous pressure this is?
She is not expected to require any domestic help. After all she has the entire day to do the household chores. But a poor working woman already has too much to do at her workplace,  so she cannot be burdened further with mundane tasks so in her case hiring domestic help is perfectly justified. 
If a stay-at-home mum is seen laughing and gossiping with her girl gang she is immediately criticized. Oh these housewives have nothing else to do the whole day than gossip about clothes and jewelry is what we hear. However it is perfectly okay for working women to have long coffee sessions with her friends in office. After all she needs a break from her stressful work.  Come on people, give the poor woman a break, a stay-at-home mum is entitled to a change from routine work as much as a working mum.
A stay-at-home mum is expected to be an excellent cook. If a working mom messes up a meal well so what? She probably has other important stuff to do than practice cooking.  But a stay-at-home mum has all day to hone her cooking skills. So there is no excuse or scope for error. One badly cooked meal and people are ready to pounce on her and tear her self confidence to pieces.
Isn't it an unfair expectation from any person not just a stay-at-home mum to never err?
I am ashamed to say that when I was working full-time, I felt the same way. However being a stay-at-home mum for the past 2 years has given me a whole new perspective and I realize how wrong I was.  Being a stay-at-home mum is a most challenging and underrated job. I'm not saying life is a bed of roses for a working mom but to be biased and judge someone simply on the basis of whether they are working or not is grossly unfair. It just results in undue pressure. 
So next time you think it is all play and no work for a stay-at-home mum, just remember that she has her own challenges which as as stressful as those of a working mom if not more. She is extremely fatigued of people peeking into her life and being critical of every aspect of it. So just respect her decision of being a stay-at-home mum and let her be.

Womanly women

When we were at my first job, me and my girl gang had created some 'womanly woman' rules. We were fresh out of college and did not have a care about the world. We loved a good laugh. What's a 'womanly woman' you wonder? Well , read the following rules and you will know for yourself. All womanly women possess these qualities and all those aspiring to be a womanly  women  should  adhere to them .

Note: I am sorry if this post is offensive to some people, but it was completely unintentional. I do not mean to mock anyone,  my only intention behind writing this post was to relive those good memories with friends.

1. Womanly women have long hair.
2. Womanly women have long nails gleaming with nail polish.
3. Womanly  women don't  laugh loudly, they shyly giggle.
4. Womanly woman always sit with their legs together and never with their legs apart.
5. Womanly women are experts in draping saris and can walk without tripping while wearing one.
6. Womanly women bat their eyelids when  speaking to a member of the opposite sex.
7. Womanly women always wear a bindi even if they are wearing western outfits.
8. Womanly women love wearing bangles on their hands and 'paayal' on their feet.
9. Womanly women are soft spoken.
10. Womanly women are pious and believe in fasting.
11. Womanly women are the unquestionable authorities  when it comes to religious customs and traditions.
12. Womanly women can cook and love cooking.

New year, new beginnings....

I don't know about others but every new year fills me with new hope. Its like a new start to life, to make up for all the things I missed doing in the past year.

Resolutions for this year- Well exercise and stay fit, eat healthy,  make my daughter more independent,  drive a vehicle, be a bit more relaxed .....

Not sure how many of the above I will be able to achieve. .but I'm feeling positive!!!

What a coincidence that this is also my 50th post in this blog. When I started this blog in 2012, I never imagined that I would reach this mark. I thought this blog was just a passing hobby that would be forgotten over time. But it turned out to be just the opposite. Each post makes me want to write more. This blog has given me a new avenue to vent my feelings, to say what I want to say, to express my views without fear.

So here's hoping I reach the 100 posts mark by the end of this year !!

Happy New Year!!!

Then and now. .....

A poem which highlights  the difference  in childhood days then and now.....

When I look at the world  around me, I must confide
So much has changed as compared to the nineties, when I was a child

To watch chitrahar and sunday movie on doordarshan we would be keen
Now such a variety of channels, daily soaps, movies and reality shows can be seen

There was no email we would write letters on paper 
Now communication happens via Facebook, Whatsapp  and Twitter

We watched cartoons like Mickey mouse and tom and jerry
Nowadays TV channels show pokemon, doreamon and oggy

Rasna was our favourite  drink,
Coke and pepsi were distant things

Our favourite actors were sharukh, kajol and Aamir
Nowadays kids are crazy about Varun Dhavan, Alia and Ranbir

We loved pani puri and other chaat
There was no Mc donalds, kfc or pizza hut

DDLJ and HAHK were our favourite movies
Kids nowadays disregard them as cheesy love stories

Our cricketing heros were Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid and Ganguly
Nowadays we hear the names Rohit Sharma, Suresh Raina and Virat Kohli 

To play games like hopscotch and hide and seek we would rush
Nowadays kids only care about angry Birds and Candy Crush

We would scour 'Tell me why' books for our research 
Today's  kids prefer using internet and google search

Baggy pants and A line dresses were in fashion
Unlike leggings and jeggings in comparison 

Life back then was not so competitive
And exams and other tensions were few 

All this and numerous other things make me feel so old
So much has changed  and I have so many memories to hold

No generation is good or bad, they have their ups and downs
We can't smile upon one and upon the other frown

Time and tide wait for no man as they say
And we must embrace new stuff as it comes our way

Generations may change and trends are never the same
But across changing times, our values we must retain