Thursday, 20 March 2014

10 Parenting rules..

We parents always lay down rules for our kids to follow. But in this post, I would like to put down some parenting rules. I don't intend to say I'm a perfect parent because I know I'm far from perfect. I make mistakes and I know that even as I write this I will break my own rules and still end making the same mistakes.  If not anything, this post will at least serve as a reminder to get myself in order the next time I misbehave with my kid J

1.      Never lose your cool in front of children.  You may pretend to be angry but don’t really be. A parent in a fit of rage is the worst sight for a child. Moreover children ape parents so if you hit them more likely that they are going to hit you back.
2.      Just as you reprimand your child for bad behaviour, appreciate good behaviour too.
3.      Difficult as it is to control your temper when your kid is throwing a tantrum, refrain from throwing one yourself for this will only make matters worse. Instead, divert their attention (and yoursJ), and things will automatically cool down.
4.      You may have had a bad day, or be upset about something or at someone, but don’t take it out on the child. Children find such erratic behavior from parents very hard to comprehend and it confuses them.
5.      You got to become a child sometimes while dealing with children.  Sometimes scolding and yelling does not work but explain to them in a way that they understand and that will do the trick. 
6.      When your child is telling you something, don’t just ignore it as useless blabbering, but listen. And I don’t mean just hear what they say, actually listen to them and try to sort their problems. However small and insignificant it may seem to you, those might be the biggest problems they have.
7.      If you promise your child something, keep the promise.  This will not only build their trust in you, but will also go a long way in inculcating the quality of keeping their word.
8.      Rather than trying to keep your kids away on a busy day involve them in your work. Give them small tasks to do. This will keep them out of mischief and also help you bond with your child. Plus children love it when parents involve them; it makes them feel big and wanted.
9.      If you want your child to do something, tell them not to do it and 9 times out of 10, they will do it. Not only children, adults also have the tendency to do exactly the opposite of what they are told so this more almost works every time!!

10.  And finally, you need immense patience while dealing with kids. Kids take their own sweet time for everything, whereas we adults are always dictated by the clock.  Don't let this become a cause of battle between you and your child. Let your child be a child.

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Healthy choices !!!

All of a sudden I have become health conscious.  Perhaps the triggering point was during my trip to Goa when one well meaning neighbour asked me how many months pregnant I was that made me resolve that I had to get rid of that tummy I had. Soon I found myself scouring the internet for information related to health/dieting/exercising firmly deciding that health should be the focus this year.  To my utter surprise, I found that there are many facts related to health and nutrition, the food that we eat that I was not aware of.  I was leading a totally ignorant life as far as food/nutrition is concerned. So here I am listing down few of the interesting points I found in the hope that it will be useful to others.

Disclaimer: This is just information I have found on the internet and therefore you are advised to verify authenticity yourself J

  1. The key to weight loss is not eating less, but burning the excess calories consumed.
  2. Fibre rich food is the key to a healthy life. Fibre slows down digestion and keeps you full for long.  Fibre is present in foods like apples, pears, carrots, oats.  
  3. Starchy food like white rice, potatoes etc is believed to cause belly fat and therefore should be cut down.


Following are the lifestyle changes I have made based on the information I have found:
  1. I start my day with a 15 minute tummy tucking exercise followed by 15 minutes brisk walking.  I am planning to gradually increase the time period. Refer this link for exercises. http://www.stylecraze.com/articles/5-exercises-and-5-foods-to-reduce-belly-fat/
  2. I drink lots of water
  3. I take stairs instead of the lift
  4. I avoid that last extra portion in my meal and control the urge to eat just one more chocolate.


It’s too early to say if any of this has made any difference to my tummy or not, but I am definitely feeling good about it. Just hope it works some magic.  Keeping my fingers crossed J

Thursday, 26 December 2013

The year that was 2013

End of another year. Its that time of the year when one gets philosophical and starts reflecting on the year that has been. Overall this has been a good year.
This year brought about great change in my personal life that being the transition from being a software professional to a full time stay at home mum. Looking back i think it was a good decision. 
My mum celebrated her 60th birthday in march this year.. a milestone achieved.  Here's hoping she celebrates many more such milestones.
June saw my daughter start her schooling. As she stood in front of me wearing school uniform for the first time I couldn't help but wonder when my baby grew so big.  And I felt so proud.  Here's wishing my baby good luck for a wonderful academic life ahead.
In September  my daughter experienced Ganesh chaturti celebration in my native village in Goa for the first time in her life and thoroughly enjoyed it.  September also saw my daughter turn 3. Yet another milestone. November brought about the festival of lights diwali. Again something Anagha thoroughly enjoyed.  Though these festivals happen every year, this year they were special due to Anagha's participation and hence deserve a mention in the year's summary.
November saw a trip to kerala. Though it was partly spoilt by the strike situation due to which we missed out on much of  the site seeing Anagha totally enjoyed the elephant ride and houseboat stay which made the trip memorable.
December saw my cousin Sharvari's wedding in Mumbai as an occasion to meet and catch up with cousins after years followed by a trip to Goa. Hubby is out of the country on a work trip and so thoroughly conspicuous by his absence.
Today is 31st and here I am celebrating the new year with my parents,  sister and family. Feeling partly emotional as sister is relocating out of the country so it might be long before we celebrate together as a family again.
Anyways here's hoping the new year ushers in good health, happiness and cheer to everyone.  Happy New Year !!!

Friday, 20 December 2013

Just a housewife?

Yesterday I met an ex colleague of mine first time after I quit work.  When she saw me the first thing she exclaimed was "oh you have become so thin I expected you would have put on some weight since you are now relaxing at home". Though those were not her exact words what she meant was roughly on the same lines. 
How do I deal with people who think being a full time mum is less taxing than a job in the software industry?  
My typical day begins at 6:30 AM when I rush to prepare breakfast.  After hubby leaves for work at 7:45 AM it’s only me who has to do everything right from brushing my daughter's teeth to feeding her breakfast and bathing her. Only I know how daunting each of these tasks is. Rest of the morning is largely spent in cooking, getting my daughter dressed and dropping her to school. After a quick lunch I rush to pick up Anagha from school followed by chores like getting her changed, feeding her lunch and putting her to sleep after which I am so exhausted that I have to take a nap. Evenings are spent in again feeding Anagha, taking her out to play and dinner preparation. And of course in between there are miscellaneous chores like folding clothes, filling water, watering the plants, etc. By the time I am ready to hit the sack I am completely drained out and have zero energy left so where is the question of relaxing at home?
What people do not realise is that in an office job the work hours are fixed, you get paid holidays/vacations, weekends off and a heavy pay packet.  I work from morning to night with no weekend offs and no salary or appreciation for good work and yet people think I am relaxing at home. Forget appreciation, one badly cooked meal and I am at the receiving end.  Does it bother me that a very highly paid successful professional at one time, now I am reduced to doing mundane work?  Yes sometimes it does. I feel like I am losing my identity, I feel the urge to go out and do something.  So do I want to go to the lifestyle I had when I was working full time? Certainly not!

When I quit my full time job, I had this notion of that I am doing this for my daughter, I will be able to raise my child my way. To some extent I have been successful and my daughter has certainly started bonding with me much better than before. And I definitely feel relaxed not having to constantly worry about deadlines, take client calls at odd hours and having the freedom to do what I want and when I want. So then why am I complaining? I guess because it is human tendency to never be satisfied and always complain.  The grass is definitely greener on the other side of the fence.

Thursday, 14 November 2013

Six things I have learnt from my 3 year old

1) Take pleasure in the small things in life. So be it just watching pigeons from the window or licking her fingers while eating chocolate, the expression on her face is worth watching. We adults are always in the pursuit of some bigger pleasures that we miss out on the finer joys in life. We miss out on our present.

2) Show your appreciation.  Many times Anagha randomly comes and hugs me and kisses me. Ask her why and she will say because you picked me up from school or because you gave me water to drink. This is something we should definitely learn from kids because many a times we hold back on even saying a simple thank you, not because we don’t want to but because we let our egos come in the way.

3) Laugh heartily. Anagha laughs for simple things and her laughter is so from the heart, so genuine that it makes me wonder why we adults are eternally grumpy and grieving about something or the other. 

4) Do not hold grudges. Many times I lose my patience and yell at Anagha unreasonably.  But children forget easily and forgive even more easily. So when I go to Anagha after a while she gives me her same sweet smile and goes on blabbering normally as if nothing has happened. Again something worth learning, life is too short to hold on to bitter thoughts and playing blame games on whose fault it was. Just forgive and let go of the resentment, it will save you precious time.

5) Go slow. We adults are always in a hurry. We finish the chore at hand and rush towards the next task.  But kids enjoy each and everything they do. So after giving Anagha a bath she splashes water in the tub and only comes out after the last drop of water has drained from the tub. She does not treat bathing as a chore but fully enjoys it. If we adults treat chores which we anyways have to do with a little more enthusiasm wouldn’t it make the work at hand a little less taxing?

6) Be content. We have told Anagha  that every time she finishes a meal, God will reward her with a candy in her father’s pocket. So after finishing a meal she very religiously prays to God with her eyes closed and hands folded while I quietly slip the candy in my husband’s pocket. Anagha then comes and check’s her dad’s pocket and when she gets her sweet, she is elated.  She gleefully runs off to say thank-you to God and then munches on her chocolate. That is it, she is satisfied, she does not ask for more. Again, a lesson worth learning since we adults are never satisfied, whenever we get what we want, we always crave for more.

Thursday, 31 October 2013

Diwali...

Of all the Indian festivals, Diwali is my favourite. I think it’s because the bright lights and vibrant colours fill me with positivity and enthusiasm.

What do I like about Diwali the most? Is it the lighting of diyas or drawing rangolis? Or is it the abhyangya snan with ‘moti soap’ and ‘utne’ on Narakchaturdashi day or the Laxmi puja? I don’t know.

Diwali brings back a lot of fond memories of celebrating this festival as a kid with my parents, sister, aunts, uncles and cousins. In Goa, there is this tradition of preparing effigies of “Narkasura”, the demon who was supposedly killed by Lord Krishna on Diwali day. These effigies are burnt early morning on Narakchaturdashi day.  As kids, we would wake up early in the morning and start drawing Rangoli and lighting diyas.  In Goa, there is also the tradition of preparing 4-5 types of fov (Poha). My mum and aunts would wake up early morning and start cooking. After the Diwali Aarti, we would all devour the fov.  We would also distribute them among our Catholic neighbours.

Now I am married and Diwali means to me a lot of other things. It means celebrating the festival in my own house, with hubby, in laws and now my daughter. It means shopping for the Diwali lantern and diyas and lighting up my house. It means getting all decked up and having the Laxmi Puja at home.

This year a certain incident had left me depressed.  Hubby and I were in no mood to celebrate. But my daughter’s excitement about Diwali fills me with renewed enthusiasm.  She is excited about everything, the colourful rangoli and the bright lights. She has even demanded for a dress with “oodni (duppata)” this Diwali. I think it’s the festival that works it magic on everyone, no one is spared.


Time has changed, situations have changed, and circumstances have changed. Although I may not be in the best of spirits this year, I sincerely hope and pray this Diwali brings everyone health and happiness throughout the year.