A couple of days back, one well meaning acquaintance from
our building came to meet me. She wanted to know if I was interested in joining
a “Beesi” group that she was starting. Not having the heart to refuse for fear
of hurting the person in front of me, I actually found myself agreeing to join.
It was actually a spur of the moment decision mostly triggered in an instant of
self pity for losing my job in, a decision which I regretted the moment I uttered
yes! I started cursing myself from the minute
she left. What had I gotten myself into?
I despise the word and more that that I despise the concept!
To all the ignorant folks, “Beesi” is an Indian version of
kitty party. Each member in the group contributes a pre determined amount
during each gathering. They then draw lots of all the members’ names. The person,
whose name comes up, takes the entire amount home. Apart from the money factor,
women use this opportunity to socialize, chat, and meet friends and gossip!
All my life I have looked down upon “Beesi” groups, kitty
parties and gatherings of such kind. I thought of myself to be much above all
this. I am a financially independent woman.” Beesi” is for those unfortunate
women who have to rely on the meagre allowances that their husbands provide. Such gatherings provide the means to buy
that piece of jewellery they saw in the shop window or some other much sought
after luxury which they have been yearning for a long time but would not
otherwise be able to afford. I don’t need to do this I used to think, I earn money
so I can buy whatever I want and whenever I want, I don’t really need to wait
for such an avenue to make big money. To me Beesi was just a place for these typical housewives who have nothing better to do.These women have a typical mindset and
their conversations are also so typical (ex. What they prepared for dinner, or
what their hubby likes/dislikes) etc. They are blissfully unaware of what is going
on in the world so there is no scope for any intellectual conversations. Such gatherings were an opportunity for them to get together and gossip and
show off their new clothes and talk about the latest scandals in the society. I used to pity such women.
And now, against my wishes I would be one of them. I felt
utterly disgusted and sorry for myself. Hubby also joined in the fun, started
mocking me with comments like “now you are those typical housewives who attend
kitty parties and roll papads on their terrace in their free time” !! Was this
going to be my fate after quitting work? The very idea was depressing and I was
demoralized to the core. Was my decision to quit totally wrong I began to
wonder?
About two weeks have passed since this incident. So while I
am no longer depressed about going to a “Beesi” party, I am not very much
looking forward to it either. I am still having second thoughts about whether I
would fit into the “Beesi” group, but nevertheless, waiting for my first party!
So Stay tuned and watch this space to
read about my first Beesi experience!
