Smile

A smile can speak a thousand words. This is so true. So often we see people for years and yet are afraid to smile or acknowledge them. The reasons may be varied, we may be afraid of the other person not reciprocating or we may feel embarrassed about smiling at a stranger. But the truth is we just need to go that extra mile. It takes just a smile to break the ice.
Everyday I would take Anagha to the Ganesh temple near my house. There is this lady who visits too. We would see each other but pretend not to recognise and would see past each other. And then my trips to the temple became fewer and whenever I did visit I would not see her which got me wondering if all was well. Yesterday I met her after a long time, though we were both hesitant for a while both smiled at the same instant and the ice was broken. She enquired about Anagha and me about not seeing her for a long time. Nothing uncomfortable, on the contrary it felt like I had known her for ages. Just like that a new friend was made.
This and numerous other such experiences have led me to firmly believe that sometimes it just takes a smile and a kind word to not only make new friends but also open closed doors. So the next time you see a familiar face but are hesitant, just go ahead and flash a smile, and more often than not you will get it back.

Evolution

While the title is evolution, don’t be put off thinking that this might be another elaborate post challenging Darwin’s theory about the transition of the homo sapien species from ape to man. As I am writing this post with a stylus pen from my new Samsung galaxy Note II, I cannot help but admire the transformation that a cell phone has gone through. From heavy weight gadgets to today’s Android/Windows/iOS smart phones, from being a luxury which only a privileged few could afford to a household commodity owned even by vegetable vendors and auto rickshaw drivers, the humble cell phone has come a long way. Today it has become a necessity that we cannot live without, and so I decided to dedicate my next post to this wonderful gadget.
The first ever cell phone I saw was way back in 1997-98 where my dad brought an AT and T Nokia phone home. It had a huge antenna, was the size of a walkie-talkie and weighed like a melon. It could be used as a paper weight. Nevertheless the idea that you could place a call from anywhere was by itself so exciting that we could not help but admire this small wonder.
My very first phone was a Nokia 3100.In those days owning a mobile phone was considered to be a status symbol and I would proudly show off my phone wherever I went.
Soon a new species of phones with colour screens and cameras came around and my black and white phone started appearing outdated. So my next phone was a Sony Ericsson K700i. How I came to buy this phone is a long story, but to cut a long story short, the true Virgo that I am, I launched an in depth analysis of all the phones in the market in my pursuit to own “The best” phone, putting down the pros and cons of every phone in the market, deciding on one phone one minute and switching to the next one in the blink of an eye. And then one fine day my younger sister went out shopping and bought a Nokia 6600 as casually as she would buy a new item of clothing or a pair of shoes. With a colour screen, built in MP3 player and camera it left me feeling sore. And that is the story of my Sony Ericsson K700i, bought in a last ditch effort to outshine my sister’s phone and that I did for with a colour screen, MP3 plus real media player, camera and 32 MB memory it was a class apart. At work people would stop by my desk to take a look at my cute and small (small phones were trendy in those days unlike today) phone and I would proudly show off all the features.
There was an old Pepsi ad that went "Yeh Dil Maange More" which very well depicts the human tendency of never being satisfied and I was no exception. My next phone was a Nokia N73, gifted to me by my dad, saying he had no use for such a “high end” phone. With 64 MB RAM, 3.15MP camera it was the thing in vogue and I could not let go of it.
Next, touchscreen phones caught my fancy and being a true Nokia fan, I bought myself a Nokia C7. With a touch screen, 8MP camera, 8GB ram it was a beauty. The best part was the web and email accessibility, with an internet connection on your phone; you no longer needed to rely on having a PC around in order to get online.
Then Andriod and particularly Samsung hit the market big time. What started as a casual fling with my Dad’s Android phone turned out to be a serious love affair and to my dismay I found that life without Andriod was colourless and grey.  Dad then gifted me a brand new Samsung Galaxy Note II (My present phone using which I am writing this post). With a 5.5 inches screen,  8 MP camera, Android OS, v4.1.1 (Jelly Bean),  Quad-core 1.6 GHz Cortex-A9 CPU, and a stylus pen, it is the phone of the moment. It reminds me of the Onida ad, "Neighbours envy, owner’s pride!
So that is the story of how I transitioned from being awestruck about my black and white Nokia phone to feeling depressed about my touch screen Non-Android based phone. Yes, technology has evolved and so have we. While I am at the risk of sounding too philosophical,  is it not true that not so long ago we would write letters, call people on their home numbers or stop by a neighbour to say hello. Today SMS and emails have become a way of life and we cannot live without this little gizmo.

A few words of wisdom

A child can teach you so many things. We play this little game with our daughter. Every time she finishes a meal, we ask her to pray to God to give her a toffee in her Dad’s pocket. She very religiously does this with her eyes closed, hands folded, while I quietly slip the toffee in my hubby’s pocket. She then comes to check her Pappa’s pocket and is so overjoyed on seeing her toffee; the expression on her face is worth watching.  That is it, she will not ask for more, she is satisfied.

It makes we wonder why we adults are never satisfied, whenever we get what we want, we always crave for more. Why can’t we look at the positive side of things and enjoy the present moment? Why do we always need something to look forward to in order to feel happy?

I quote, “Feelings are not emotions that happen to u, Feelings are reactions you choose to have”. Happiness is a state of mind. In our pursuit to achieve happiness, we often tend to ignore the things that we already have to feel happy about. So often we run after some illusionary future where life will be perfect and we ruin our present by comparing it with that nonexistent future life.  That perfect life is like a desert mirage. Even if you get what you want your life will never be perfect as long as you keep on longing for more.

I may sound very preachy here and I know it’s not very easy to practice, but try it. The next time you are fretting about an unhappy situation, just snap out of it and remember that nothing in life is permanent.  This is going to pass. So instead of wasting precious time being hassled by things beyond your control, focus on the positives in life and feel thankful about them. Believe me, it works like magic. 

Marriage - An overrated institution?

Marriage – An over rated institution?

Recently, I was reading a post from another blogger in which she had described how two colleagues at work were discussing how they think that marriage is an overrated institution. It got me thinking. It brought me to the age old question of why do people get married in the first place? I started thinking about the pros and cons of marriage and to my surprise found that there are more cons than pros.

So read on.

Disclaimer:  This post in no way means I am against marriage or regret getting married. On the contrary, I am happily married with a two year old daughter. This post should be taken in a very light note the way it was meant to be.

Reasons to not get married

·         Not being able to hang out with your girl gang and do girl things like shopping, movies etc. I don’t mean to say that marriage prevents this, but definitely the number of outings gradually reduce and eventually you find that you have no girl friends left, all are either “balancing work and personal life” or “taking care of children”

·         If you have annoying in-laws, having to put up with them

·         Having to change your food habits as per hubby. Again may not be true in all cases, but we women tend to pamper our hubbies, so we will prepare his favourite dish even if we don’t quite like it.

·         Moving away from your parents’ home, why should only women have to deal with the ordeal associated of moving out from your comfort zone into a new environment altogether?

·         Having to deal with the arguments, fights, nagging, shouting, screaming.

So why do people get married?

·         Love – you fall in love with someone and want to spend the rest of your life with him (In my opinion this sounds very filmy and cliché but my friends who have had love marriages might not agree)

·         Companionship - You get a best friend for life and a shoulder to lean on always

·         Experiencing motherhood – There can be no bigger joy; you have to be a mother to understand the feeling.

·         Social recognition. Marriage as an institution is recognised in society, perhaps people want to play a safe game and fall into that married category rather than being stereotyped as a single loner.

So here I am, not any closer to answering the age old question of why people get married. But my humble opinion is that marriage is a package, it comes with its share of happiness and grief, but in the end the pros outweigh the cons by a huge margin. 

Home sweet home

In my last post, I ranted about my love for Goa. But as I enter my home in Pune, only three words enter my mind, "Home sweet home". That sums up everything.   They say home is where the heart is.  As I enter my home in Pune, I realize how true that is. In my bedroom lies the most comfortable bed in the whole world. Each familiar sight, be it the corner by the dining table where my daughter loves to play, the settee where she likes to sit and eat, my wardrobe filled with clothes and my other worldly possessions, everything fills me with glee.  Maybe this is how memories are created. Unknowing to me and stealthily this brick and cement house has crept into my heart and created memories for a lifetime. I am lucky to have the best of both worlds.

Goa of my dreams

As we drive through the familiar Goan roads lined with paddy fields and coconut palms, it makes me feel very nostalgic. Having lived in Goa for 25 years of my life, I have adjusted very well to the hectic life in Pune in the last few years. But still, every time I come to Goa, I feel like I have come home. The fresh air itself is a welcome change from the polluted roads in Pune.

 The coconut palms, the familiar sight of people dressed in their best clothes and going to church on a Sunday and a pader (person selling Goan bread) riding his bicycle on the narrow roads gives me a sense of belonging. As I enter my home in Vasco, it makes me fondly reminisce about my childhood days.  This house where I grew up, where I played with my little sister, where my mum used to feed both of us, where my grandfather would sit on his chair and watch us, where we would sit on the swing in the balcony and play, the memories are endless. Even now when I enter this home, I feel safe and protected, I feel like I am a child once again.

As I take my daughter for a stroll in the narrow street in front of my house, I am greeted warmly by old neighbours many of who have known me since I was a toddler with bai kashe asa?(meaning how are you). A simple greeting, but leaves me feeling overwhelmed, makes me feel welcome.

On a trip to Vasco market with my mother I am met with familiar sights like "hotel La-paz" the only good restaurant in Vasco where we have had many meals as a family for many years, “National cloth shop”, the only cloth shop in Vasco where we used to shop for clothes, the temple of lord Damodar where we used to go every Monday, and so on. Even the fruit and vegetables vendors know most of the customers personally and always greet them. This being the Christmas and New Year season, in the evenings many house are lit up with Christmas lights, reminding me of childhood days again. Every Diwali mum would send us off with Diwali sweets for our neighbours and every Christmas we would wait for their Christmas goodies . That tradition continues till date.  It makes me feel proud about my Goan people always living in harmony.

Just yesterday I attended a typical Goan marriage once again found myself relating to each and everything, be it the wedding rituals or the typical marriage food or looking at the women clad in silk sarees and symbolic Goan jewellery from head to toe. Whether I like it or not, I was one of them.

This and numerous other incidents and sights in Goa take me on a trip down the memory lane. No matter where life takes me, these days will always be special.

Another New Year

Yet another new year, yet another time to wish near and dear ones happy new yr, yet another set of new year resolutions. The year ended on a busy note for me personally with a wedding in the family, accompanied by pre and post wedding religious ceremonies and a trip to Goa. This year’s New Year eve was spent without hubby, leaving me feeling a bit incomplete. It also brought back fond memories of last year’s new year eve spent at Bangalore, one of the best in many years mostly because I had my whole family with me at that time, mum, dad, sister , hubby and kiddo.

This year I hope I am able to stick to my new year resolutions. Some of them are:
1) Being positive all the time
2) Learning cooking
3) Being more upfront
4) Taking care of myself

Fingers crossed!

Meanwhile, Hope the New Year brings in a lot of happy times for everyone! Wishing you all folks a happy new year!!